


Never-Ending Space Opera

by violetbear



Category: Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anxiety Attacks, Dehumanization, F/M, Flashbacks, Happens after the mission: Hunting the Archon, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, My First Fanfic, Non-Canon Relationship, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Original Character Death(s), Past Lives, Past Torture, Possible spoilers for Ryder Family Secrets, Pre-Canon, Siblings, Suicide Attempt, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-19
Updated: 2017-11-24
Packaged: 2018-12-31 18:50:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 27,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12138843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/violetbear/pseuds/violetbear
Summary: Scott has secrets no one knows. Not even Sara knows what happened those two years he was gone before they left for Andromeda. But she is determined to find out. And he is just as determined she never knows.Will be told from both twins POV but this is Scotts story. A story that involves death, dehumanizing torture, a suicide attempt, and anxiety attacks. No fairy tales here.





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> My first fic. Please enjoy. Bit of a slow burn to what Scott is hiding but hopefully you enjoy and stick around.
> 
> """ is POV change.  
> *** is for a flashback.  
> +++ represents time has passed.

Scott was having a very long day. First he barely had two hours of sleep, most of which were filled with nightmares about the Archon. Then he had to break up another fight between Kallo and Gil. After that he had to calm a discussion between Peebee and Lexi (Scott still maintained they were arguments but had decided not to antagonize his doctor anymore; at least about this). All this happened before breakfast and docking with the Nexus. After docking, he had a meeting with Kandos, then one with Addison, an interview with Keri, and to top it all off he had to report to Tann. 

Finally though he was free to visit his sister. Sara had finally woke from her coma last month. He had fortunately been on the station when she had so he got to see her only a couple hours after she woke.  
Since then he was kept busy with his duties. This would be their first extended time together in Andromeda. He was excited to tell her all that had happened. Furthermore, it would be nice just to see her. This was the longest they had been apart since they were in the Alliance.  
He was working out what to tell her first when he walked into the med bay. He saw Sara sitting in her bed talking to Dr. Carlyle. As he got closer he was able to listen in.

“I’m fine, Harry. I certainly don’t need to stay here another six months.”  
“My test results say different. But if you listen to me, I might consider shortening it.”  
“So if I do everything you say, I can get out in a month? Thanks Harry, you’re the best.”  
“Nice try, Sara. I was thinking more like three months. And that also means no escape attempts.”  
“Hi Harry. Just ignore the Sara sized container outside.”  
“I’m serious, you two. And Scott, if any escape attempts lead back to you, I will have Lexi confine you to the Tempest. Now I will let you catch up. Good seeing you, Scott.”

The twins watched him until he was across the room from them. Then Sara turned to her brother, a hopeful expression on her face.  
“So Scott, what’s the plan? Do you actually have a crate outside?”  
“The plan is to sit here and talk with my sister. He is your doctor. We should listen to him.”  
“Okay, who are you and which cryo pod did you shove my brother into?”  
“Sara, be serious.”  
“I am being serious. The Scott I knew hated listening to the rules.”  
“I listened. I just decided not to follow some.”  
“Like the one that said no swimming in the Presidiums’ lake?”  
“You pretended you got a leg cramp and couldn’t swim. I dived in to save you.”  
“Fair point. What about the time we snuck out after curfew to visit Flux? Pretty sure it was your idea to see if the bartender would serve us alcohol.”  
“That was a fun night. We got so drunk. Then you had to ruin it by getting in a fight with those Turians on the way home.”  
“Hey, we won that fight. Would have been fine, except for that C-Sec officer walking up at the end of it. Dad was not happy to be woken up to come bail us out in the middle of the night.”  
“No, he was not.”

Scott glanced at his sister. He couldn’t get over the fact that she was awake. Awake and with apparently no complications from the accident. Seeing her damaged cryo pod after hitting the Scourge, Scott swore his heart stopped. The distance between her pod and him had seemed like miles. His only thoughts being “please not Sara. After everything that’s happened, not Sara too. Please take anyone else.”  
Someone had listened to him because in no time at all, his dad was dead. Had suffocated on Habitat 7 instead of him.  
It should be his father sitting on Sara’s bed, not him. Why did his helmet have to break? Why did his dad give him his? And why did he make him Pathfinder?

“Penny for your thoughts?” Sara’s voice invaded his musings.  
“It’s nothing. Just thinking about... Mom.” He winced, wondering why he had said that. The loss of their mother was a wound that still hurt and probably always would.  
“Wondering what she would think of all that has happened? I do that all the time. Also what our lives would be like if she hadn’t gotten sick.”  
“Dad wouldn’t have made SAM to try and cure her for one thing. We would still have our careers in the Alliance. We probably wouldn’t have come to Andromeda. So we would be six hundred years dead now.”  
“Well, we both have cheery thoughts.”  
“What were your cheerful thoughts?”  
“Moms’ funeral.”

Scott tried to think of something that would change the subject. If Sara was thinking about the funeral soon her thoughts would turn to the weeks after and Scott didn’t want to have another argument with her. He fumbled around his thoughts, trying to find a way to distract her.  
“A lot of people showed. Some we hadn’t seen in years. Did you see Hackett showed up? He hadn’t talked to us since dad got kicked out of the Alliance. Did you get a chance to talk to him?’  
Scott hoped the mention of who Sara and he called Uncle Steve would get her attention.  
“I did get to talk to him. He was one of the people I called when you pulled your disappearing act.”  
Scott cringed. It had got her attention alright. In the complete opposite direction he had hoped through.  
“Sara, I don’t think this is the place for this conversation.”  
“What place works for you then, Scott? I will go wherever you want to have it. Then maybe I will get my questions answered.”  
“What more do you need to know? I left for two years but I came back exactly the same as when I left.”  
“Where you stayed those two years would be nice to know. And you didn’t come back the same.”  
“Okay, fine. Maybe I grew an inch or two.”  
“Not funny, Scott”  
“Sara-”  
“No, Scott. You know what I’m talking about. You were so skinny and you cried yourself to sleep every night. Plus you hated confined spaces.”  
“I was skinny because the food where I was sucked. I was crying because of mom. And I did not and do not have a problem with confined spaces.”  
“Cora says you were hyperventilating going across the tether to the Archons’ ship.”  
“That’s because the stakes were so high. You would have to if everyone was depending on you to figure out a way to not only save the Salarians and their ark but also find the relic that leads to Meridan.”  
“That doesn’t explain your reaction to the elevator on Kadara. Cora says-”  
“I had no reaction to the elevator. Stop talking about me with Cora.”  
“At least she tells me everything. I don’t have a two year gap in my knowledge of her.”  
“I told you what you needed to know.”  
“Now you sound like dad.”  
“I am nothing like him!”

Scott looked around the med bay at everyone looking at them and realized he had yelled that last part. He took a deep breath and lowered his voice.  
“I am nothing like dad. I didn’t ignore you practically your whole life, only taking an interest when mom forced me to.”  
“He trained us in N7 tactics Scott. You wouldn’t be such a great shot without that.”  
“So that makes up for all the closed doors and every “go tell your mother. I’m busy.”? He only paid attention to us when it worked for him.”  
“Then why did you join the Alliance if you hated him so much? You were following in his footsteps.”  
“What else was I suppose to do? My last name is Ryder. Everyone just assumed I would.”  
“He did love us, Scott. In his own way.”  
“Yeah, sure. Tell me another one.”  
“He died for you, Scott.”  
“That wasn’t love, Sara. That was... some other reason I haven’t figured out yet.”  
“Maybe because he didn’t want his only son to die gasping in front of him. Because he love you?”  
“Is that why he shoved SAM in my head? Because he loved me?”  
“From what I hear from-“  
“If you say Cora one more time, I will walk out of here.”  
“From unnamed sources then. If dad hadn’t transferred SAM, you would have died.”  
“I did die, Sara. I died for twenty two seconds.”  
“But SAM bought you back. Sure he had to integrate with your systems very heavily but he bought you back.”

Scott stood up from Saras’ bed. He paced the length of it for a couple minutes while Sara looked on questioningly. He finally returned to her side. Looking into her eyes he found the courage to ask the question that had hounded him since he died.  
“Did SAM bring me back? Did he or am I just the skin of SAM? Am I still Scott?”  
Sara looked startled at the question for a moment before she moved closer and wrapped an arm around him. With her other arm she grabbed his hand and put it on his chest.  
“Feel that? That’s your heartbeat. Yours, Scott, not an AIs’. You are still you.”  
“SAM can stop my heart. I’m pretty sure he can make it beat too so he can use my corpse.”  
“Scott, look at me.”

He turned towards her but couldn’t meet her eyes. Sara put both hands on either side of his face and raised his head to meet her eyes.  
“Scott, you are one hundred percent you. One hundred percent my loving, annoying little brother.”  
Scott had to roll his eyes at her.  
“We’re the same age, Sara. We’re twins.”  
“Yes but I was born a minute before you. Which makes you my little brother?”  
He pulled her into a hug.  
“You are never going to let it go, are you?”  
“Nope. You still love me though.”

They both sat there holding each other for a spell before Sara spoke again.  
“And besides if you were SAM you would tell me where Scott had been those two years.”  
Scott pulled away from his sister and stared at her in disbelief.  
“Really, Sara? I’m having an existential crisis here and you bring that up?”  
“I wouldn’t keep bringing it up if you just tell me. Where were you?”  
“I don’t want to do this here.”  
“Well too bad because we are. Where were you and who were you with?”  
“Who says I was with anyone?”  
“The ring on your left hand does. Who are they?”  
“Sara, I don’t want to talk about it.”  
“Why? What did they do?”  
“Sara, drop it now!”  
“No! Not till you tell me!”  
Both twins had failed to notice they were now yelling at each other. They had also failed to notice the attention of the entire med bay on them.  
“You tell me everything. Why is this secret? Are you ashamed of what you did?”  
“I will never be ashamed of loving them!”  
Scott couldn’t believe what he had said. It was the truth but he wasn’t ready to talk about that time yet. Not even with Sara. He hoped Sara hadn’t caught what he said but his luck had sucked so far in Andromeda.  
“Loving them? Who’s them, Scott?”  
It looked like his bad luck streak continued.  
“Sara...I...I can’t...I.”  
Scott looked up from the floor into Saris’ eyes. Eyes that were filled with sadness and hurt.  
“I’m sorry, Sara.”  
He stood up off the bed and walked out of the med bay.  
“””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””  
Sara watched her brother walk away without looking back. He had looked so sad when he told her sorry. But what was he sorry for? Was it for leaving for two years with no explanation? Was it for not telling her anything about those two years? Was it because he was walking away leaving her with more unanswered questions?  
“You okay, Sara?”  
Sara glanced up at Dr. Carlyle. He was looking at her with concern.  
“I heard you and Scott yelling at each other. Actually the whole med bay did. Do you need to talk?”  
“No. That argument was just a ruse so you wouldn’t suspect Scott when I escape.”  
“Well it looked very real so it probably would have worked.” He smiled at her before putting on his serious doctor face, as Scott called it. “I have known you two since you were little so don’t think I don’t recognize your methods. I’m here if you need anything.”  
“Thanks, Harry. Does that include strapping Scott down to a bed here until he agrees to tell me everything?”  
“It might but I don’t think it will come to that.”  
“Just be ready the next time he comes.”  
“I will be but now I think you should rest. I will be back later to check on you.”  
“Okay, Harry.”  
Sara lay back on the bed and let her mind return to what she had been thinking of before Scott’s visit. The days after mom’s funeral.  
********************************************  
Sara closed the door after the last visitor. It had been a long day entertaining all of the people who came to mom’s funeral. But now everyone was gone. Everyone except her father and brother. Her eyes filled with tears remembering that they were all the family she had left. Mom was gone. The glue that held them together was gone forever. She shuddered envisioning a future of them all separated with only minimal contact between them. 

The sound of breaking glass caught her attention. She walked towards the bedrooms where she thought the sound originated from. Standing outside her brothers’ room she went to knock when the door opened. Scott stood on the other side, surprised to see her there.  
“Hey, sis. What did you want? Is everyone gone?”  
“The last ones just left. I thought I heard something. What are you doing?”  
“Going to get the first aid kit. If you would move.”  
Sara realized she was blocking the door but she didn’t move.  
“Why do you need the first aid kit? Did you hurt yourself?”  
“Enough with the questions. Move, now, please.”  
“No. First you answer me then I move, now, please.”  
Scott glared at her before picking her up so he could get out of her room. He then placed her down in the exact spot she was in before.

“That’s not playing fair, Scott”, she whined as he went into the bathroom. She crossed her arms to sulk until he came back when she felt something damp on her shirt. She looked at her hand and saw red. When she glanced down at her shirt she saw a red handprint where Scott had grabbed her. She hurried to the bathroom door to see Scott trying to open the first aid kit one handed.  
“Scott, what happened? Do you need help?” Scott glared at the first aid kit before sighing and handing it over. She sat on the bathroom counter and opened it.  
“Let me see, little brother.”  
“No. Just give me the kit.”  
“No back at you. What did you do? Will you at least tell me that?”  
“I broke a glass. It cut me. Now give me that.”  
“You know how this ends. Do you want to skip some steps and just show me now?” She tried not look smug when Scott held out his right hand. That got easier when she saw the deep gash across his hand. “You broke a glass? I think the glass broke you.”  
“Very funny, Sara. Can you fix it?” She looked at his hand as she pulled medi-gel out of the kit.  
“Probably but it might leave a scar. If you went to the clinic they could fix it better.”  
“I don’t want to go to the clinic. Just fix it please.”

Sara glanced up from his hand. His forehead was scrunched up in pain as she expected to see but the look of sorrow in his eyes she hadn’t.  
“Scott, what’s wrong?”  
“I have a gash in my hand and my big sister is playing twenty questions instead of fixing it.”  
“Nice try, twin. What is it?”  
“What do you think?”  
“Mom?”  
“Yep. I was sitting there thinking about her and my biotics...”  
“Scott, you haven’t lost control of your biotics in years.”  
“I know. A little ironic that I lose control a week after moms died from a disease caused by her exposure to Element Zero. The same exposure that made you and I biotic.”  
“Is that what’s bothering you? Scott-“ She stopped as she heard footsteps coming down the hall.

Alec Ryder stepped into the doorway of the bathroom.  
“What happened here?”  
“Scott cut himself on glass. It looks worse than it is.”  
“Usually does. Be more careful next time. I put the rest of the food away. I’m going to work on SAM for a while. Call if you need anything.”  
“Okay. Thanks, dad.” She waited until she heard the office door close before she turned back to Scott. “Now, Scott-“  
“Save the lecture, Sara. I know it wasn’t our fault she got sick. It just sucks that we got cool powers and she got a terminal illness.”  
“Yeah, it does.” Sara felt the tears she had contained all day threaten to spill out.  
“It’s okay, Sara.”  
“What is?”, she sniffed, trying to hold back her tears.  
“To stop trying to be the older, in control twin.” He wrapped his arms around her and held her as she sobbed. He held her until she stopped. “Feel better” He handed her a tissue.  
“Yeah. Thanks. But I am you know.”  
“You are what?”  
“The older twin.”  
“By a minute.”  
“Still counts.”  
“Fine. I will let you be my big sister for a week with no comment. Deal?”  
“Deal. Now let your big sister finish fixing your hand, little brother.”  
“This is going to be a long week.”  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
Sara looked though the fridge at all the food people had given them. Why was it people always gave the same type of food to those left behind?  
“So what’s for supper tonight, sis?” Scott leaned on the island that separated them.  
“I decided to get creative tonight and try something new. Something involving noodles and tomato sauce. Maybe add some type of meat and cheese.”  
“Not lasagna again. We’ve had it every night for a week. What else do we have?”  
“Chocolate cake. About ten of them.”  
“Why can’t we have that? Sounds better then lasagna again.”  
“Because we are adults and adults don’t eat chocolate cake for supper.”  
“We’re nineteen, Sara”, he scoffed. “Hardly mature adults.”  
“No cake for supper. Your older sister has spoken,” she declared.  
“It’s been less than four hours since I made that deal and I think this makes twenty times you’ve mentioned our age gap. Stupidest deal I’ve ever made.”  
“Yes it was but I didn’t expect my little brother to be very bright.”  
“Twenty one times now. I’m going to get dad for supper so I can’t hear you anymore.”  
“Okay, baby brother”, she giggled at his departing back.  
“That’s twenty two”, he exclaimed before knocking on the office door. She watched him step inside, closing the door behind him.

Sara was setting the table when she thought she heard raised voices. She looked towards the office door to see Scott storm out of it. He stomped to the kitchen table and sat down. He put his arms on the table and buried his face in them.  
“What’s happening, younger brother? Where’s dad?”  
“He’s not coming”, she thought she heard Scott say but it was very muffled.  
“Sorry what? He’s not coming? Why? It’s supper time.” Scott unburied his face to look at her. She saw anger in his eyes but also sorrow.  
“He’s busy with SAM. Said to eat without him. He would grab something later.”

Sara sighed before heading to the office. She paused outside the door. She thought she heard two voices in there. She put her ear to the door and listened.  
“...was not the cause of Ellen’s illness.”  
“I know, SAM. I don’t know why I said that.”  
“Maybe because you blame yourself?”  
“Am I not to blame? If I was able to complete you earlier-“  
“It would not have made a difference.”  
“How do you know, SAM?”  
“Because I am programmed to know. Ellen would not want you to blame yourself for her death.”  
“Even if it’s the truth? Ellen would still be alive if you were completed earlier. It’s all my fault.”

Sara moved away from the door. So that’s why dad had been locked in his office since mom died. He blamed himself for mom’s death. Sara returned to the kitchen where Scott still sat at the table, wiping tears from his eyes. She placed a piece of cake each on two plates, then set one down in front of Scott before sitting down herself.  
“What’s this?”  
“It’s supper, my subsequent sibling. Now eat up.”  
“I know you said you were going to get creative, but this looks more like cake then the lasagna you promised.”  
“It is cake. Chocolate cake to be precise.”  
“I thought you said adults don’t eat cake for supper?”  
“I decided you were right. We are not mature adults. We are still teenagers and teenagers eat cake for supper. Now eat my junior sibling. You must be starving.”  
“Sara?”  
“Yeah, Scott?”  
“Thanks. You’re a pretty good big sister.” She smiled at him before picking up her fork.  
“And Sara?”  
“Yes?”  
“That’s twenty five.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter we learn why Scott leaves home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. Meant to post this on Friday but got distracted by a very busy, very fun weekend. I hope to post a chapter every three days from now on.

Scott threw himself down on the bed after reaching his dads quarters. He was frustrated. Frustrated that he and Sara had fought. Frustrated that he could not bring himself to tell Sara everything. But what really frustrated him was Sara’s insistence that dad loved them. Why didn’t she see it like he did? Maybe it was because dad had always been easier on her. Whatever affection he did show them had been mostly directed at Sara. Or maybe he knew dad only loved Sara and not him because of that argument with him. The one where he finally figured out why dad was so aloof with him after his mother’s death.  
**************************************  
Scott didn’t know why he volunteered to go get dad for supper. Maybe just to get away from Sara’s insistence of being his older sister. They were born on the same day. What difference did one measly minute make? According to Sara, it made him her little brother. Little brother? He was five inches taller than her. He knocked on the office door. When he got no answer, he opened the door and stepped inside. His dad was sitting at his desk, his back to the door.

“Dad? Sara says come eat.”  
“You two eat without me. I have to finish this component for SAM.”  
“Come on, dad. Even non biotics need to eat regularly.”  
“You two just had to be”, Alec scoffed.  
“Be what?”  
“Biotics. Maybe if you hadn’t been your mother-“  
“Wait. Are you blaming Sara and me for mom’s illness?”  
“No, I don’t blame Sara. Plenty of women had one biotic child and suffered no ill effects.” Alec got out of his chair and faced Scott. “But we just had to have two at once. We thought we were so lucky. We had tried for years to have one. Now we were getting one of each. Of course, we didn’t know then that the boy was poisoning his mother. We wouldn’t find that out until years later.”  
Scott stood there in shock. What dad was saying couldn’t be true. He loved his mother. He couldn’t be the reason she had gotten sick and died.  
“Dad, you know that’s not true. This is just your grief talking.”  
Alec stalked across the room and grabbed Scott by his shirt collar.

“Believe what you want, boy. I know the truth. Ellen would still be alive if not for you. Sara would still have her mother.”  
Scott’s sorrow at his mother’s passing was now equally matched with anger directed at his father.  
“Moms illness was caused by her exposure to Element Zero. It had nothing to do with me.” Though he said the words he wasn’t one hundred percent certain that they were true. Ever since his mothers diagnosis he wondered if Sara and him had been a part of the cause. But to hear his own father blamed them for her death. No, not them. Just him. Just the son who had been born a minute after his sister.  
“It had everything to do with you. Stop trying to shift the blame. It’s true. Even Sara believes it.”  
“You’re lying. Sara doesn’t believe that.”  
“She does. Every time she looks at you she thinks about how her mother would still be alive if you hadn’t been born.”  
“Well then maybe I should leave so you two don’t have to look at me. So I’m not a constant reminder of your loss.”  
Alec let go of him and turned back to his desk.  
“Maybe you should.”  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
Scott sat lost in thought at the kitchen table. It had been a week. A week of avoiding his father’s attempts to talk to him. A week of trying to avoid Sara. Not that Sara could be avoided. She was always there. Making sure he had eaten and not letting him hide in his room. If she did hate him, as dad said, wouldn’t she want him to hide in his room? Then she wouldn’t see him and be reminded that he caused their mothers death.

“Citadel to Scott.”  
He glanced up from his plate to see both Sara and his father looking at him.  
“You okay, baby brother? You’ve not said anything since we sat down and you’ve barely touched your food.”  
“I’m good. Just thinking about some things.”  
“For example?”  
“For example, none of your business.”  
“Okay, sorry I asked. So dad, how goes SAM? Did you get him to the specs the Initiative wants yet?”  
“I’m about halfway there. Still lots of time to finish him. We don’t leave for Andromeda for a little over two and a half years.”  
“I can’t wait. A whole new galaxy to explore. What are you most excited for, younger brother?”  
Before he could answer her a buzzing sound filled the air.

“What is that?”  
Scott tapped his omni-tool to shut it off.  
“That, my twin sister, is your week up.”  
“Already? Are you sure?”  
“Yep and I’m glad. It was a long week.”  
“It wasn’t that bad. I barely mentioned our age difference all week.”  
“525, Sara.”  
“525 what, Scott?”  
“You mentioned it 525 times.”  
“No I didn’t. That sounds like too much. And I thought you weren’t going to comment on me doing it?”  
“I never said anything about keeping track.”  
“He has you there, Sara,” Alec injected. “But really? 525 times?”  
“It wasn’t... I didn’t... Well, it’s Scott’s fault for being born last.”

“Anything else you want to blame me for, Sara? Just so we can get it all out in the open.”  
“What are you talking about? Blame you for what?”  
“For being the cause of-“  
“Scott, stop”, Alec commanded.  
Scott glared at his father across the table.  
“Why should I? Shouldn’t we have this settled once and for all?”  
“Scott, listen. It’s not true what I said. I didn’t mean it.”  
“You meant every word.”  
“Scott, just listen to me.”

Scott was done listening to his father. He stormed to his room and threw some clothes into a bag. He grabbed his pistol from the desk and threw it in too. He then returned to the kitchen where Sara and his father were now standing face to face. She was screaming at him.  
“What did you say, dad? What isn’t true?” She turned to see him standing there with the bag over his shoulder. “Scott, what’s this? Are you leaving?”  
“Sara, I’m sorry. About everything.”  
“What are you-“  
“Sara, go to your room”, Alec interrupted her. “Scott and I need to talk alone.”  
“But-“  
“Go, Sara. Please.”  
“Fine. I’ll go.” She left the room. Both Scott and Alec just stared at each other until they heard the door close behind her.

“Before you begin to apologize again, just know I don’t forgive you. I don’t know if I ever will.”  
“Scott, I didn’t mean what I said. I only said those things because-“  
“Because you believe them. You blame me for mom’s death.”  
“No, Scott. I blame me.”  
“Nice try, Alec. Tell me another one.”  
“Scott, it’s true. If I had completed SAM sooner she would still be alive.”  
“Okay, fine. Say I believe you blame yourself for her death. Why then did you say I was the cause of her illness?”  
“I don’t know, Scott. I don’t believe that.”  
“Some part of you does. Some part of you probably thought that since she was diagnosed. You just finally said it out loud.”  
“Scott, please don’t do this. Sara-“  
“Don’t try using Sara to make me stay. Besides some part of her probably believes it was my fault. Why else would she constantly be reminding me I was born last?”  
“Because she loves teasing you. She loves you, Scott. As do I, son.”  
“I am not your son, Alec. Not anymore.”  
“Scott.”  
“No, Alec. I’m done with this. I’m leaving and I’m not coming back. Tell Sara goodbye for me.” He pushed past Alec towards the front door. And with his father calling his name, he walked out of it.  
*************************************  
Scott scooted down so he was sitting at the bottom of the bed. The memories of that last fight with his father bothered him more now that there was no chance to make things right between them. Now that there was no chance to apologize and thank him for what he did. The six months before they left for Andromeda had been tough. Both trying to apologize, but never quite finding the right words.

It probably didn’t help matters that Scott couldn’t bring himself to call Alec dad. When they were in public or around Sara he managed to call him sir. When it was just the two of them though he returned to Alec.  
Watching him on Habitat 7 activate the remnant tech, he thought this could be a new beginning for both of them. Then that death cloud had thrown them off the platform and his father had died. Died after giving Scott his helmet and shoving SAM into his head.

Scott sighed as he put his head in his hands. Was Sara right? Was he still himself? Or where the nightmares of him having no control of himself true?  
“You are still yourself, Scott. Even with how integrated I am, I cannot just assume control of you.”  
“But you can. You did it in Sloane Kelly’s throne room. You made me disarm Kaetus.”  
“Your life was in danger. The odds were high in favour of her giving the order to kill you.”  
“You could have told me or asked my permission.”  
“There was no time. In any scenario where you life is in danger my programming is clear.”  
“Turn me into a puppet?”  
“You were not and are not my puppet, Scott.”  
“Yeah, okay, SAM. Maybe I believe you.” Scott raised his head from his hands and looked towards the orb on the desk.

“Can I ask you a question, SAM?”  
“Of course.”  
“Do you think I should tell Sara everything?”  
“I am not clear about what you mean by everything.”  
“Everything meaning the argument between Alec... Dad and me. As well as where I was those two years.”  
“I believe that telling Sara about that time will be beneficial to both of you.”  
“What if she hates me like dad said?”  
“I do not believe she does. From what I can hypothesize from your interactions she is hurt you do not tell her about that time. I decipher no hate towards you.”  
Scott looked down at his omni-tool. Maybe it was time to tell Sara everything. He didn’t know if he could tell her all of it, but maybe by telling her some the guilt he felt would go away. He selected Sara’s name on his omni-tool and waited for the call to go through.

“Hello, my twin brother. I’m only answering because I haven’t made up my mind if I’m mad at you yet. So talk fast before I decide I am and hang up.”  
“Sara, I’m sorry.”  
“Well that helps turn the tide in your favour a little bit. Sorry for what exactly?”  
“For believing what dad said was true for so long. For leaving like I did. For the two years with no contact. For not telling you where I was or what I did for those two years. For not telling you about them. But mostly, sorry for the hurt I caused you, big sister.” The silence on the other end seemed to last forever. “Sara? You still there?”  
“I’m here. I’m just trying to process it all.”  
“Well that explains the delay.”  
“Some of us don’t have super computers in our heads to help us appear smarter than we are.”  
“Ouch, Sara. SAM may be in my head, but that doesn’t mean I’m not me. I’m still one hundred percent your annoying little brother.” He paused as he realized what he said. “Okay, wow. Where did that come from?”  
“That came from finally realizing that your older sister was right.”  
“Fine, you were right about my connection to SAM. But you were still wrong a bunch of other times.”  
“I can accept that. So did you call just to apologize or was there something else?”

“There is. Can you come to dad’s quarters on the Hyperion?”  
“You mean your quarters on the Hyperion.”  
“You know what I mean, Sara. Can you?”  
“I don’t know. I have to clear it with Harry. What should I tell him the reason is?”  
“Tell him your idiot of a younger brother finally decided to tell you everything.”  
“Everything, huh? He may need clarification on what everything means.”  
“It means everything from the argument dad and I had a week before I left, to when I returned after two years away.”  
“Really? You’re finally going to tell me?”  
“I will try to. Some parts still-“  
“Whatever you can tell, Scott. And maybe talking about it with me will help you.”  
“That’s what SAM thinks.”  
“Just let me tell Harry and I will be right there. Love you, little brother.”  
“Love you too, Sara.” He hung up and lay back on the bed. He hoped Sara would be here soon.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sara learns why Scott left home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suicide attempt ahead.

Scott didn’t remove his gaze from the ceiling when he heard the door open. There was only one person SAM would let in right now.  
“Scott?”  
“He’s not here right now. Please leave a message with SAM at the beep. Beep.” Something hit him in the side. He looked down and picked it up.  
“Really, Sara? You threw your shoe at me?”  
“Be glad I didn’t aim for your head.”  
“But why did you throw your shoe at me?”  
“Because you were being annoying and it was all I had to throw.”  
“I’m keeping it.” He put her shoe under one of the pillows.  
“Scott, give it back. I’m not walking back to med bay with only one shoe.”  
“No it’s mine now. Possession is nine tenth of the law.” He ducked as the second shoe was thrown at his head. “Now they’re both mine. You should be glad. Now you can walk around in your socks.”

“Says the twin who always fought mom when told to wear their shoes.”  
“Shoes are too confining.”  
“Whatever you say, little duck.”  
“Who told you?”  
“She who cannot be named.”  
“I’m putting her on kitchen duty for a week.”  
“As she does the rosters, I think not.”

She crossed the room the sit beside him on the bed. “Just start at the beginning and take your time. I’m not going anywhere.”  
“Not without your shoes.”  
“Scott.”  
“Okay, fine. I guess the beginning was the argument between dad and me.”  
“You said it happened a week before you left. So I’m guessing that’s why you stormed out of dad’s office that day.”  
“You would be right.” He looked into her eyes. Eyes that had no trace of hate for him. Not yet anyway. “Sara, are you sure you want to hear this? Dad said something that-“  
“Whatever he said obviously hurt you. It is still hurting you. How am I supposed to fix my younger brother if I don’t know why he’s broken in the first place?”  
“Nice choice of words.”  
“What do you mean?”  
“Younger brother.”  
“You are younger. You were born a minute after me.”  
“I just mean it matches up nicely with what I’m about to tell you.”  
“Scott, what are-“  
“Quiet, Sara. It’s story time. Now where to begin? I knocked on the office door.”  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++   
Scott stared at Sara. She had yet to say anything since he finished talking. She just sat there, staring straight ahead. He couldn’t see her eyes. He wondered if when he did, he would see the hate of him dad had said was there.  
“Sara, are you-“The words died in his mouth as Sara turned to face him. His worst fears were confirmed. Sara’s eyes were focused on him and filled with rage, hate, and tears. Scott’s own eyes filled with tears as he looked down from Sara’s gaze. Dad had been right. Sara did blame him for mom’s illness. She hated him.  
“I’m sorry, Sara. So, so sorry. I didn’t mean to make mom sick. I know you hate me for it. I’ll leave so you don’t have to... I’ll transfer SAM and Pathfinder authority to you. Then I’ll take a shuttle and leave for Kadara.”

“Scott, I must advise against this.”  
“Why, SAM? Sara will make a great Pathfinder.”  
“I concur. However if I disconnect from you there is a high probability that you will die instantly.”  
“I guess that’s a chance-“  
“99.3 percent probability you will die instantly.”  
“I heard you the first time, SAM.”  
Scott stared at the floor though tear filled eyes. He couldn’t believe he was back in this scenario. SAM was again poised to kill him. He just needs to say the words and he would die. Only this time he wouldn’t be coming back.

Was he really going to do this? He thought of what his father had said. He had killed his mother. He was the reason she gotten sick. She would still be alive if not for him. And she wasn’t the only one.  
Scott started sobbing as he remembered his girls. His beautiful pixie would still be alive if he had never met her.  
“SAM.” He managed to sob out that one word.  
“Scott, please. Don’t make me do this.”  
Any other time hearing SAM plead to him would make him pause. But now he was too far gone.  
“SAM.” He took a deep breath to stop his sobbing. “SAM, initiate Pathfinder transfer to Sara Elizabeth Ryder.” He felt his body hit the floor as everything faded to black.  
“””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””  
All Sara felt was rage. How could he? How could her father tell Scott that it was his fault their mother was dead? Mom would have gotten sick even if she never had them.   
Sara looked over at Scott to tell him but the words would not come. The rage had consumed her. She saw Scott flinch as if he expected her to hit him. Why shouldn’t he? According to their father she had blamed too. How dare he place the blame on Scott? Then to tell him that his twin also blamed him.  
Poor Scott, she thought watching him sob. To have to live with this for almost three years. As if losing mom wasn’t enough. No wonder he had left and not contacted her at all. But why had he come back?

“...Sara Elizabeth Ryder.”  
That was her name. Why was Scott saying her full name? She watched in horror as his body hit the floor.  
“Scott.” She dropped to her knees beside him. “Scott, please answer me.” Was he... Why wasn’t he breathing? She put her fingers on his throat but couldn’t feel a pulse. Tears started streaming down her face.  
“No,” she sobbed. “Scott, please. Don’t leave me alone. Don’t leave me. Little brother, please. I don’t blame you. I don’t. Please wake up so I can tell you that. Wake up!”  
“Sara Elizabeth Ryder?”  
“SAM, why are you saying- SAM! You can bring him back.”  
“I’m afraid I can’t. He transferred Pathfinder authority to you.”  
“Well then, as Pathfinder I order you to bring him back. And then transfer it back.”  
“Probability of success is-“  
“Don’t quote probabilities to me. Just do it!”

His pulse beating under her finger just became her favourite thing in Andromeda.  
“You did it. SAM, you are a- Why isn’t he breathing? SAM, why isn’t he breathing?”  
“Because I barely have a connection to him.”  
“Did you transfer back Pathfinder authority?”  
“Yes but I can’t fully connect to his implant. Something is wrong. I suggest you contact Dr. Carlyle or Dr. T’Perro immediately.”

Sara placed the call to Harry.  
“Come on, Harry. Pick up. Please pick up.”  
“Sara, if you stowed away on the tempest-“  
“Harry, come quick. Scott’s in trouble.”  
“Nice try Sara. I’m not falling for that for the twentieth time. Good bye.”  
“No, Harry. Wait!” She screamed in frustration as he hung up. Before she could try again the door opened. On the other side stood Dr. T’Perro.

“Lexi, its Scott. He’s not breathing.”  
I know, Sara. Now move back.”  
“He just collapsed. SAM got him back but-“  
“Sara, please move out of the way. I have him.”  
Sara got up from the floor and moved to the bookcase. She hugged herself as she watched Lexi try to save her brother.  
“”””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””  
Scott was surrounded by darkness. Where was he? What had happened? Why couldn’t feel his body? The last thing he remembered was telling Sara about the argument with dad.  
“SAM, you are-“  
That was Sara. She was saying something to SAM. Why would she be talking to SAM when he- Suddenly it became clear to him. SAM had taken control of him. He was trapped in his own body with no control. It was his nightmares come true. He tried to scream but no sound escaped.

“Scott, come back. Please come back to us.”  
Lexi? What was she doing here? She had said she wasn’t planning on leaving the tempest this shore leave.  
“SAM, how’s your connection to him?”  
“I am at a fifty percent connection but he is fighting me.”  
Of course he was fighting. It was his body. He wouldn’t let SAM have it without a fight.  
“Scott, stop fighting. Your implant will soon overload if you continue.”  
If his implant overloaded SAM would not be able to control him. He increased his struggles.

“Dr. T’Perro, I am having increasing difficulty trying to get control. My connection is at thirty five percent and falling.”  
“Is there anything I can do to help?”  
Lexi wanted SAM in control of him? How could she?  
“Get him to SAM node. He will not be able to fight a hardwire connection.”  
“Got it. Sara, help me get him on the stretcher.”

Now Sara was helping? Why would she do that? Maybe dad was right. She blamed him for mom’s death and now she was helping SAM to get rid of him. He struggled harder to get control so he could tell Sara he was sorry. Sorry for causing moms illness but also for inadvertently causing their father’s death. He kept struggling till the darkness consumed him.


	4. Chapter 4

Scott opened his eyes. Had he done it? Did he get control back from SAM?  
“Scott. You’re awake.”  
He pushed himself up from the bed.  
“Sara”, was all he got out before she was pulling him into a hug.  
“I was so scared, Scott. I thought I lost you. How are you feeling?”  
“Confused.”  
“That’s understandable. SAM says-“  
“SAM! He’s still active? You haven’t shut him down?”  
“Of course he’s still active and connected to you. Why would he need to be shut down?”  
“Because he-“

“Ah, you’re awake. That’s a good sign.”  
Both twins watched as Lexi entered the room and came to stand beside the bed.  
“How are you feeling? Any nausea, dizziness, headaches?”  
“No, no, and no. Lexi, what-“  
“Good. I don’t think you will have any long term effects from this. Just in case, I am putting you on a week of bed rest here on the Hyperion.”  
“What? Lexi, you can’t. We’re leaving for Meridan tomorrow.”  
“I can and I am. You need the rest and if I put you on bed rest on the Tempest I know somehow we will end up at Meridan.”  
“Dr. T’Perro, please let me rest on the Tempest. I promise not to go near Meridan.”  
“Nice try, Scott. I will be back later to check on you. If I find out you left that bed, besides bathroom breaks, I will strap you to it.”  
“I’m the Pathfinder and I say we are leaving tomorrow.”  
“The Pathfinders doctor can overrule the Pathfinder. Sara, only another five minutes then I want you to leave until tomorrow. He needs his rest. Scott, stay in that bed.” With those final words she turned and left the room.

“Okay, we have five minutes. What do you want to know?”  
“How about we start with, why is SAM still active when he tried to take control of me?”  
“What are you talking about? SAM didn’t try to control you. He saved your life.”  
“He tried to control me. And you helped him, along with Lexi.”  
“No we didn’t. We were helping him to save you. Scott, were you aware of what was happening when you were unconscious?”

“If by aware you mean awake in darkness, unable to move, then yes I was.”  
“Oh, Scott. I’m sorry you had to go through that but you heard wrong.”  
“I didn’t. Lexi was asking how much control SAM had. How connected SAM was.”  
“To your implant, not you. SAM was having issues connecting and because of that we were losing you. You would have died if SAM hadn’t been able to reconnect to you.”  
“But it was just like my nightmares where I had no control. It was dark, and I couldn’t move, and you are hugging me again.”

“I’m your older sister and I’m sad for you. I will hug you as much as I want. Why didn’t you tell me you were having nightmares?”  
“Maybe because you had just woken up from a coma to the news that dad was dead. I didn’t want to burden you further.”  
“You will never burden me, Scott. You’re my brother and I love you.”  
“I love you too, Sara.”  
“What do you remember about what happened before the darkness?”  
“I remember I told you about that argument I had with dad. And how he said you blamed me too.”  
“Scott, I don’t blame you. You were not the cause of moms’ illness. She would have gotten sick even if she never had us.”  
“Thanks, Sara.”  
“It’s the truth. And I wish dad was still alive so I could yell at him. How dare he tell you that.”  
“It’s okay, Sara. Just knowing you don’t believe it is all I need. “  
“I’m glad. Do you remember what happened after you told me?”

“Not really. It’s a bit of a blur. Something about Pathfinder is all I get.”  
“You transferred Pathfinder authority to me. Then you collapsed. Do you remember?”  
“No, I don’t. I collapsed after transferring SAM to you?”  
“Yes. Do you know why that happened?”  
“Sara”, SAM interrupted. “It has been five minutes. Dr. T’Perro wanted you to leave now.”  
“SAM, I’m talking to my brother. I will leave when I am done.”  
“Go, Sara. If you don’t she might come back and make good the threat to strap me to the bed.”  
“Fine, I will go. Call me if you need anything. Even if it’s just to talk.”  
“I will. See you tomorrow. Love you, sis.”  
“Love you too, baby brother.”  
“One minute, Sara.”  
“Still counts."

He watched her walk out the door. He was glad SAM had interrupted when he had. He hoped Sara never found out the truth of what happened before he collapsed.  
“SAM, can you dim the lights?”  
“Yes, Pathfinder.”  
He lay down on the pillow and pulled the covers to his chin. He then cried himself to sleep with the memories of his mom and his girls playing in his head.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sara visits SAM and finds out the truth of the day before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. Over 100 hits in four chapters. Thank you to everone for reading and hopefully enjoying. 
> 
> The start of this chapter fought with me when I wrote it. I seem to have more trouble writing Sara.

For the second time in two days, Sara couldn’t believe what she was hearing.  
“SAM, are you telling me Scott knew he would die if you were disconnected?”  
“I cannot divulge the Pathfinders-“  
“Did you tell him he would die?”  
“I did.”

Sara hadn’t imagined this conversation when she decided to visit SAM before checking on Scott. She had just wanted to make sure SAM hadn’t had any complications from yesterday’s events. Why would Scott transfer SAM if he knew he would die? And why did he do it at that moment?  
“SAM, did Scott think I hated him like dad said?”  
“When, Sara?”  
“After he told me about the argument. Did Scott believe dad was right?”  
“Sara, I can’t-“  
“Don’t give me that, SAM. You were designed to help the Pathfinder. To insure their wellbeing. Scott won’t be able to fully heal from this if he doesn’t talk to someone. As I am the one he always talks to, I need to know.”

“Scott did think Alec was right. He thought you blamed him for Ellen’s death. That is why he transferred authority to you. He was going to exile himself.”  
“So I wouldn’t be reminded of that fact every time I saw him?”  
“Exactly.”  
“But after you told him he would die, he still continued. Did the thought of me hating him affect him that bad?”  
“It did have an adverse affect on him but I don’t think he would have done it if other memories hadn’t surfaced. Those, along with the thought of your hatred, pushed him over the edge.”  
“What memories?” Sara thought back to yesterday. Twice in two separate conversations, Scott had mentioned a them.

“SAM, Scott mentioned something yesterday. He said I will never be ashamed of loving them. Do you know who he was referring to?”  
“I do.”  
“Who were they?”  
“That I will not say.”  
“What the hell, SAM. You agreed with me that I need to know everything to help Scott. That includes the identity of them.”  
“It does but as you said I was designed to help the Pathfinder. I believe he will heal faster if he talks through that time with someone. And as you said he always talks to you.”  
“Thanks for using my own words against me.”  
“You are welcome.”  
“Someone is picking up sarcasm.” 

Sara thought about what SAM said. It was true that when Scott needed to talk he always came to her. And clearly keeping those two years a secret was affecting Scott. “Say you are right. What keeps Scott from running from the conversation? He always finds a way to stop me from finding out including leaving the med bay to do it.”  
“He is not able to leave his bed at this time.”  
“I know Lexi told him not to but you know Scott. He will do it anyway.”  
“He is not physically able to leave his bed.”  
“She didn’t. This I have to see.” She rushed out of SAM node and entered her brother’s quarters. She took one look at Scott on his bed and burst out laughing.

Scott was held on to the bed by a strap across his chest. His arms were held by his sides with a strap on each wrist.  
“Sara, shut up. It isn’t funny.”  
“Yeah, I know. It’s hilarious. I take it Lexi caught you out of bed?”  
“I made it to the tram. Or I would have if the tram door didn’t open on a surprised then very angry doctor.”  
“Bad luck there.”  
“Tell me about it. Now I’m stuck here bored out of my mind.”  
“You know you would have been able to work in bed if you hadn’t tried to escape.”  
“Skip the lecture, Sara. I already heard it all from Lexi.”  
“At least she didn’t extend your bed rest.”  
“That’s her next threat if I escape again.”  
“I wish you luck on your next attempt. Now I’m sorry but I have to go. I’m meeting she who cannot be named for lunch.”

“Sara, please don’t leave me. I’m so bored.”  
“I’m sorry, Scott. I have plans.”  
“Please, big sister. I’m begging you.”  
“Fine, I will stay. On one condition.”  
“Name it.”  
“Tell me a story.”  
“Aren’t we a bit old for story time?”  
“I want to hear a specific story. One that occurred over a two year period.”  
“Enjoy your lunch.”  
“Scott, tell me please.”  
“No, Sara. Don’t keep your lunch date waiting.”  
“If you tell me I will help convince Lexi to let you rest on the Tempest. If that doesn’t work, I will help you escape.” The silence between them seemed to last for ages. Finally she heard Scott clear his throat.  
“Once Upon a time...”  
“”””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””  
Scott couldn’t believe he was in this situation. It was bad enough that Lexi had caught him escaping. When the tram door opened he didn’t know who looked more surprised. Before he got over his surprise, Lexi had him by the wrist and was pulling him back to his quarters. He had tried to escape her grip but she was way stronger then she looked. All his fighting had gotten him was a sore wrist. That and Lexi strapping him to the bed with not one but two restraints. Scott had spent the first hour fighting to get free with all his might. Finally SAMs voice had cut through the terror and he gave him permission to help him.

Speaking of SAM, Scott had never been so glad dad had built him. He had managed to calm him down and had stopped the flashbacks. After that the second hour of his enforced bed rest was spent plotting how to escape and return to the Tempest. Sara’s visit had been a welcome distraction because so far he hadn’t come up with a single working plan.  
Then Sara had again asked about that time. If she thought just because he was trapped there he would tell her-  
“... I will help you escape.”

Then again, if he told her only select things about that time, maybe she would finally stop asking. And he would be back on the Tempest. But what would he tell her? How much until she thought that was all there was and left him alone? He knew he couldn’t talk about them. The pain was still so raw. As for those six months, there was no way he was telling Sara that. All that left was the first week after he left. He would have to somehow stretch the events of that wee into the two years he was gone. Scott didn’t think he was that good of a storyteller.

If only mom was the one telling it. She had always captivated Sara and him with her stories. Stories that had originated on Earth centuries ago. Stories that no matter how terrible things got, there was always a happy ending. Stories that always started the same. Scott cleared his throat and began his story.  
“Once upon a time...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter before the story really begins. Thanks for hanging in there.


	6. Chapter 6

“Really, Scott?”  
“What?”  
“Once upon a time? I don’t want a fairy tale. I want the truth. All of it.”  
“I’m going to tell you the truth.”  
“Starting that way I have my doubts. Scott, please. Keeping this a secret is hurting you.”  
No it’s not. I’m totally fine.”  
“SAM disagrees.”  
“Stop talking to my A.I. behind my back.”  
“Fine. SAM is keeping this secret hurting Scott?”  
“Sara!”  
“Yes, I believe it is.”  
“SAM! Stop talking about me with my sister.”  
“SAM is the only one who tells me anything. All I get from you is a whole bunch of no.”

“Fine. Fuck it. I’ll tell you. Try to keep up. I was on Omega for those two years. Them were Katie, Juno, and Juliet. I lost them. I was then tortured for six months before escaping and returning to you. Are you happy now? You know everything. Now leave me alone!” Scott stared at the ceiling, hating the tears that were pouring out of his eyes. Just saying their names had hurt. When would that stop? Would it ever?  
“Oh, Scott.”  
“Just go away, Sara. You know now so please go.”  
“I’m not going anywhere. My baby brother is hurting and needs his big sister.”  
“I’m not and I don’t. Besides I don’t have a big sister. Just an annoying twin sister.”  
“Love you too. Scott, keeping all this in is killing you. Please talk about it with me.”  
“I’m fine, Sara.”  
“I don’t believe you. I don’t think anyone could be going through what you did. First, losing three people obviously important to you, and then to be tortured for six months. Oh, how could she?”  
Scott heard her cross the room to the bed. He turned his head to watch as she fumbled to release the straps holding him down.

“Lexi is not going to be happy with you.”  
“Lexi can bite me. How could she strap you down knowing what you had been through?”  
“Simple. She doesn’t know.”  
“But how? It would be in your medical records. Never mind, I know. Dad, right?”  
“Technically, SAM.” He sat up and rubbed his newly freed wrists.  
“But why would dad do that? Whose interest did that serve?”  
“His, of course.”  
“But, why would he-? Here let me help.” She grabbed one of his arms and began to massage it. “That feel better? How long were you like that for?”  
“Two hours. SAM helped me through the worst of it.”  
“Thank you, SAM.”  
“You are welcome, Ryder.”  
“Which one of us do you think he is saying that to?”  
“As I was the one who thanked him, it’s obviously me. Now that I think of it though, isn’t that going to be confusing when I join the Tempest?”  
“Only on missions. On the ship, I’m just Scott. We could call you Ryder-2 to avoid confusion.”  
“I was born first. I should be Ryder-1.”  
“I’m the Pathfinder and I was out of cryo first. Besides Ryder-1 sounds a little bit silly.”

“We have time to figure it out. So why Omega?”  
“What?”  
“Why did you choose to live on Omega?”  
“It was a fuck you to dad. He always told us not to go there. I didn’t intend to stay though.”  
“What changed your mind?”  
“I had been there about a week, spending each night getting drunk in this shitty bar. I had just decided this was my last night on Omega.”  
“Then she walked in.”  
“That’s such a cliché, Sara.”  
“So she didn’t walk in?”  
“No. She was already there.”

**************************************  
He gestured for another drink from the bartender as his eyes glanced around the bar. It was poorly lit with a half dozen tables scattered around a poor excuse for a dance floor. It was a tiny uneven space, barely big enough for four humans. And the music playing could barely be called that by a tone deaf person. Scott didn’t see how bad the dance floor was or how horrible the music was. All he saw was her.  
She was wearing a white baby doll dress that hung to her knees and sparkled in the poor lighting. Her long chocolate coloured hair ender halfway down her back. And when she glanced at him he saw playful eyes of emerald green framed by long black lashes. He kept his eyes on her as the song ended and she walked up to the bar, taking the stool beside him.

“You look a little shiny to be drinking at a bar in Omega.”  
“You look too pixie like to be doing the same.” Now that he saw her up close, he saw she was barely five feet tall.  
“How about shiny buys pixie a drink and she’ll tell him how she came to be here?”  
“Sounds like a deal, pixie.”  
“Katie.”  
“Scott.”  
***************************************  
“Sounds like you fell hard for her.”  
“No, I didn’t. We took it slow.”  
“How long before you moved in with her? Was it that night?”  
“No, it wasn’t. It was more like a week and it was only so I could stop paying to stay at that disgusting motel.”  
“Like you needed to worry about money. You fell hard. My baby brother, head over heels in love. It’s so sweet.”  
“Wasn’t like that. I had a separate room.”  
“Which you slept in alone how many nights?”  
“None but... Okay, you’re right. I fell so hard.”  
“It’s sweet.”  
“Shut up, Sara.”

“So what did she do?”  
“Who?”  
“This Katie. What did she do to make a living? Or was she as lucky as you?”  
“She had a job.”  
“Which was?”  
“She was a mercenary.”  
“You’re shiting me.”  
“No, I am not. She was a mercenary. A great one too.”  
“When did she tell you?”  
“She didn’t. I found out another way.”  
“How?”  
**********************************  
When Katie had left after supper saying she had to work, Scott decided he had two choices. He could stay home alone waiting for Katie to come back, for the third time in two weeks. Or he could go to the same shitty bar he had met her in a month ago. Since they were out of alcohol and he was bored out of his mind the decision was an easy one. He was halfway to the bar when a man ran into him, knocking them both to the ground.

“Hey, watch where you’re going.”  
“I’ll live longer if I keep watching behind me”, the man said as he got to his feet.  
“What are you talking about?”  
The man ignored Scott and ran into a nearby alley. Scott got to his feet and was about to continue on his way when he heard the man pleading from the alley.  
“Please don’t do this. Whatever you’re being paid, I will double it. Don’t kill me.”  
Scott moved to the mouth of the alley, removing his pistol from its holster at the small of his back. He glanced down the alley to see the man facing his direction, pleading with the person in front of him. All Scott could see of them was a hooded cloak that went to the ground and an Asari sword in their left hand. 

Scott pointed his pistol at the hooded figure.  
“Put the sword down and turn around.”  
“Listen to him, lady or-“  
Before Scott could blink the man was dead and he had been shoved back against a wall, with the sword at his throat.  
“Biotic, huh. Two can play at that game.”  
Scott started to focus his energy into a Throw when he was distracted by one word.  
“Scott?”  
“Maybe. Who wants to know?”  
The figure sheathed the sword and pushed back their hood.

“Katie? What the fuck? What are you doing here?”  
“Working. What are you doing here?”  
“I was heading to the bar before the dead guy over there ran me over. Speaking of the dead guy, why did you kill him?”  
“Because it was my job to. I’m a mercenary. He pissed someone off enough to pay the Falcons to kill him.”  
“The what now?”  
“The Falcons, Scott. It’s the mercenary faction I belong to. How could you have lived on Omega for a month and still not know the names of all the factions?”  
“I live a very sheltered life?”  
“Right up until one of the factions kills you.”  
“Hey, I’m careful and I apparently live with a mercenary. They won’t kill me.”  
“You may be right.”  
“I am right.”  
“They might just torture you before selling you to the highest bidder. You are very pretty.”  
“You think I’m pretty? I prefer handsome but thanks.”  
“Of course they could try ransoming you also.”  
“To who?”  
“Your parents.”  
The smile left his face as he pushed past Katie to exit the alley.

“Scott, what’s wrong? Was it something I said? I was only joking.”  
Scott turned back to face her.  
“I know you were. It’s just my parents...”  
“Oh, Scott. I’m so sorry. When did they die?”  
“Mom a couple months ago. Dad is still alive, except to me.”  
“He kicked you out?”  
“I left before he could. Katie, I’m sorry but I don’t want to talk about it.”  
“I understand. Let’s go home. I’m going to make you my famous chocolate cake.”  
“Katie, I love you but please no chocolate cake.”  
“Katie’s improvised cake it is.”  
“That’s a horrible name.”  
“What would you call it then?”  
“Pixie cake. After my favourite person.”  
“Pixie cake it is. And Shiny?”  
Yes, my Pixie?”  
“I love you too.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scott has some suspicions about his relationship with Katie so he does some investigating.

“No wonder you started like you did.”  
“What are you talking about? Started what?”  
“This story. You two were like a fairy tale.”  
“We were not.”  
“Yes you were. Not even a month and you have nicknames and are saying I love you to each other. All that’s missing is the evil witch plotting against you. Then you can defeat her and ride off into the sunset together. Happily ever after.”

“Except in this case the evil witch killed the princess and tortured the prince.”  
“Oh right. I’m sorry, Scott. You okay?”  
“Yeah, I can go on.”  
“Not what I was asking.”  
“You are right though. Everything was a little too perfect. Katie was always there making sure I was happy. She always went along with what I wanted and we never argued. The first six months of our relationship was like that.”  
“What changed that?”

"One night after Katie left for a job, I sat down and thought about Katie and me. I came to the same conclusion you did. We were a fairytale romance.”  
“But the princess was the mercenary when the prince stayed home. I don’t think mom ever read us a fairytale like that.”  
“Exactly. Katie was a bad ass mercenary. She was the top mercenary for the Talons.”  
“She tell you that?”  
“No. After I came to my realization I decided to do some digging around. Figure out who Katie really was. I knew barely anything about her and she knew everything about me. Even some things I could have sworn I never told her.”  
“Maybe you told her and just forgot.”  
“I could have but I didn’t think so.”  
“So you went digging. What did you find?”

********************************************

Scott paused outside Katie’s office door. Was he really going to do this? Didn’t he trust Katie? Maybe he was being ridiculous. Ridiculous or not, he needed to know.  
He stepped into the office and looked around. Inside the tiny room contained only a desk and a chair. On the desk sat two piles of datapads. One pile had six datapads while the other was only two datapads.  
Scott looked through the pile of six. Each one had a picture of a person and a description of them. At the bottom of the description was the word: complete. He put the last one back on the pile and turned to the pile of two datapads, picking the top one up.

He was able to turn it on but all he saw was a blank screen. He smiled at it. Encrypted, huh. Well Alec wasn’t the only one good with tech. It took him a few minutes but he was able to beat the encryption. On the screen was the same type of information as the other six but one thing was different. On the bottom instead of it saying complete were the words: in progress. Scott set it down and picked up the last datapad to decrypt it.

Scott felt his legs give way as the information came on screen. He sat on the floor staring at the screen. That was his picture. Why did Katie have a datapad with his info on it? He scrolled to the bottom and saw the words ‘ongoing reconnaissance’.  
He felt a shiver go down his spine as he read the words. Was that all he was to his pixie? A job to be completed? Was anything about them real? And what happened at the end of the reconnaissance? He thought back to the night he discovered Katie was a mercenary. She had mentioned some things a faction would want with him. Obviously killing him wasn’t the plan. If they had wanted him dead they wouldn’t go through all this. That left two options. Actually, only one option. No way would Alec pay any ransom for him. Scott heard the office door open but he didn’t look up from the datapad.

“Scott. What are you doing in here?”  
“I think the word you would use is reconnaissance.” He looked up at her standing in the doorway. “That’s the right word isn’t it, my pixie? When you date a guy just so you can sell him to the highest bidder later on. Maybe you fuck him also to test out the merchandise.”  
“Scott, listen-“  
“No, I’m done listening to you.” He got off the floor and stood over her. “I’m done being a job to complete. I’m done with you. I’m leaving. I’m leaving you and I’m leaving Omega. Good bye, Katie.”

He went to push past her when he felt something pierce his arm. He looked down at the needle in his arm. The needle that Katie had her hand wrapped around.  
“I’m sorry, Scott.”  
Darkness was filling his vision as he tried to reach the front door. He made it halfway before he collapsed on the floor. Katie raised his head so she could meet his eyes.  
”I`m so sorry, shiny.” She set his head down before moving from his vision.

”Hello?”  
“Hi, Talah. It’s Katie. There have been a couple complications with the plan. Can you come to my place immediately?”  
“I’m on my way. Don’t do anything stupid.”  
He felt a hand brush his hair before the darkness consumed him.  
“I already did.”  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
Scott opened his eyes and looked around. Why was he in the hall bathroom? And why was he on the floor? He tried to stand but his legs wouldn’t cooperate. He looked down to see his legs bound at the knees and ankles. He looked up to see his hands tied to the towel ring. He pulled with all his might but it stayed in the wall. He tried to scream but it come out muffled because he was gagged as well. Scott was about to try his biotics when he heard two voices arguing outside the door.

“Of course I tied him up. What else was I suppose to do? Kill him”, questioned Katie  
“In the event the plan was compromised that’s exactly what you were supposed to do. Now we have to up the timetable. I’ll contact Alec Ryder while you dose Scott again.”  
“The plan won’t work. Alec won’t pay.”  
“Yes he will. He would have paid more if it was closer to the departure time but he will pay.”  
“Alec hates his son. He won’t care if we kill Scott.”  
Hearing Katie say those words hurt more than he thought they would. He knew Alec wouldn’t pay a ransom for him but to hear someone else state that. Someone that he thought loved him. Wait a minute. What had Katie said?

“Repeat that for me, Katie.”  
“I said I love him, Talah. I won’t let you sell him.”  
“I don’t care that you love him. Do you know how much someone would pay for him? You can always find someone else.”  
“I said no, Talah.”  
“Listen. You may be our top mercenary and my best friend but that doesn’t mean you can make the orders. Especially since you are talking to the second in command of the Falcons.”  
“I’ll buy him.”  
“You don’t have the money.”  
“I’ll get it.”  
“Give me a second. I have to make some calls.”  
“No. Don’t go in there.”  
“What did I say about telling me no? I have to see if your antics damaged the property.”  
“He’s not property. He’s Scott.”  
“Soon he will be a dead Scott if you don’t move.”  
“Don’t touch him.”  
“Fine. I will only do a visual inspection. Does that work for you? Thank you.”

Scott looked toward the door as it opened. Framed in the doorway was Talah. She wore tight black leather pants and a white crop top with a burgundy leather jacket over top. Her reddish brown hair was in a ponytail. Her bluish grey eyes were emotionless as they inspected him.  
“Nice job on the restraints, Katie. Of course you did learn from the best.”  
“I learnt from you”, he heard Katie say from out in the hall.

“Exactly. It looks like nothings changed but if you are hiding something to lower the price...”  
“He steals all the blankets and he sometimes makes these cute little noises in his sleep. Is that what you are talking about?”  
“You know it’s not. Let’s go back to the living room to discuss how much you will be paying for him.”  
“First can I see-“  
“I think not.”  
Scott watched as the door closed behind her.


	8. Chapter 8

“Wow.”  
“I know.”  
“Wow.”  
“Know any other words there, Sara?”  
“Yes, but wow works so well right now. I take it you and Katie made up?”  
“Yep. After Talah left and she freed me we talked most of the night. I figured anyone willing to spend two million credits to save me really did love me.”  
“Two million? Two million credits?”  
“Talah was pissed. Katie figured she raised the price to teach her a lesson.”  
“I would say she was pissed. So that’s a quarter of those two years told. How are you holding up? Need to stop?”  
“I’m okay, Sara. The worst is yet to come though.”

“You can stop at any time, Scott.”  
“That’s a change. What happened to the Sara who hounded me to tell her everything the past year?”  
“I’ve disposed of her. In her place you have the Sara who still wants to know everything but will let you stop if it becomes too much.”  
“You just don’t want to have to go to Lexi and tell her you broke the Pathfinder.”  
“That is a consideration. She’s already going to be mad at me for freeing you. Of course if we told her-“  
“No, Sara.”  
“But Scott, she’s your doctor. She should know.”  
“No. Promise me you won’t tell her.”  
“Fine. I promise I won’t tell Lexi.”  
“Thank you. Where was I?”

“Six months in, two million credits, you and Katie having make up sex.”  
“Right. As I recall we put those bonds to better use that night.”  
“Okay, ew. Just stop right there. I do not need to hear about my baby brother having sex.”  
“You started it. Now, we started by-“  
“Stop. Just stop. Yuck, Scott. I’m sorry I said that. Please move on. Tell me about proposing to her.”  
“That involved sex after too.”  
“Okay, Scott. You had your fun. Now move on. Please.”  
“Fine. So after everything that happened in that apartment we decided we wanted a fresh start.”  
“I thought you were going to tell me about proposing to Katie?”  
“I am Miss. Impatient. Let me tell it my way.”  
“Okay, Okay. Please continue.”  
“Thank you.”  
*******************************************  
Scott stood in Katie’s office. Her empty office. He couldn’t believe they were finally moving. With all the bad memories associated with the place they had decided to move and make a fresh start. Of course they never figured it would take three months to get to this day. He glanced around the tiny room. Yes, he decided, this room would be perfect.  
“Hey, shiny. You about ready?”  
He turned to see Katie standing in the doorway. She was wearing the baby doll dress he had first seen her in.  
“Yes I am.” He grabbed both her hands in his and pulled her into the room. “You look breathtaking. I love that dress on you.”  
“Is that why I had to wear it today? It’s not very practical for moving in. And I was thinking about leaving it behind. It’s part of the bad memories. “  
“Nonsense. That day is one of my favourite memories. It’s the day I met you.”  
“And I you. I guess it’s not a totally bad memory dress.”  
“How about we make it a great memory dress?”  
********************************************  
“Okay, stop. I’m getting a sugar rush from all this.”  
“It was a proposal, Sara. It’s supposed to be like that.”  
“Someone watched too many romantic comedies with mom.”  
“Not funny, Sara.”  
“The dress you first saw her in?”  
“She looked amazing in it. And laugh all you want, but it worked.”  
“I figured that out by the ring on your hand.”  
“Not just talking about that.”  
“Seriously, Scott. On the floor?”  
“You have led a very sheltered life if you think the only place to do it is in a bed.”  
“Okay one, I have not and two... Let’s just change the subject.”

“Fine by me. What do you want to hear next?”  
“Proposals done. How about the wedding I wasn’t invited to?”  
“Sara, I didn’t invite you or Alec because...”  
“You thought we hated you. And it’s dad not Alec.”  
“During those two years it was Alec. He was no father of mine then.”  
“Technically-“  
“He told me I was responsible for our mother’s death. He called me poison. He wished I had never been born. So yes, I called him Alec. You should be glad that’s the worst I called him.”

“Scott listen”, she said, placing a hand on his arm.  
“No, Sara”. He said pushing her arm off. “This isn’t something that can be fixed by talking about it.”  
“Even if I say he didn’t actually believe those things? That he loved you?”  
“Maybe if he was still alive and could tell me himself, I might one day have believed that. But he had to go and sacrifice himself for me. Stupid.”  
“It wasn’t stupid, Scott. He did it because he loved you” She returned her hand to his arm. “Because you were his son.”  
“Yeah, okay. It’s just...” He looked at the ground.  
“Just what, little brother?”  
“Maybe I didn’t care if I...” He lifted his tear filled eyes to meet hers. “I miss them so much, Sara.” He put his head on her shoulder as she hugged him.  
“I know, Scott. You’ll see them again one day.”  
“And the Initiative needs their Pathfinder.”  
“More like I need my brother. I’d be lost without you.”  
“Of course you would. I wouldn’t be there to help you find a path.”  
“Bad joke, Scott”, She scoffed, pulling away to look at him.  
“Definitely not one of my best.” He wiped his eyes before smiling at her. “Thanks, Sara.”

“Anytime, baby brother. Now the wedding. Let me guess, extravagant?”  
“There was no wedding.”  
“But the proposal? Your ring?”  
“I married her but it seemed wrong to have an extravagant affair without my big sister there.”  
“Aw, I think you’re full of it.”  
“Okay, you got me. We decided we didn’t care about the trappings, we just wanted to belong to one another.”  
“That’s sweet. So you and Katie signed the papers and became man and wife. What happened next?”  
“Talah signed too. She was the witness.”  
“Talah? The second in command of the Talons? The woman who wanted to sell you? That Talah?”  
“She was Katie’s best friend. She’s the one who trained Katie.”  
“And things weren’t a little awkward after what happened?”  
“There were a couple awkward moments when Katie left us alone in the beginning but eventually we reached a truce.”  
“How? I wouldn’t want her near me after.”  
“Because I decided Katie was too important to me to lose her because I wanted her to decide between us. So I sucked it up and played nice because Katie trusted her.”  
“But you didn’t”  
“Not as far as I could throw her.”  
“Physically or using your biotics?”  
“Both.”

“So it’s been... How far along are we?”  
“Katie and I got married on our one year anniversary.”  
“It’s been about a year. You and Katie are happily married. Except for the occasional awkward visit with Talah, everything seems pretty good.”  
“A fair assessment.”  
“So what happened?”  
“You are forgetting something. Actually someone.”  
“I am not. There is you, Katie, and Talah. I’m not forgetting anyone.”  
“How about I continue and let you figure it out.”  
“Okay, but I’m sure I’m not forgetting anyone.”  
*****************************  
It had been three months. Three months since Katie and him had married. He hadn’t thought his life could get any better. Turns out he was wrong.  
“Hi Talah. Thanks for coming over.”  
“Of course I did. You said you had something important to tell me. How’s your boy? Where is he?”  
“Scott’s okay but he’s not here. I made him leave so I could talk to you alone.”  
Katie was lying to Talah. He was actually hidden in the empty spare bedroom. She had thought Talah would handle the news better if Scott wasn’t there but he hadn’t wanted to leave her alone so they had compromised.

“Now I’m really curious. What’s up?”  
“You know how Scott and I got married three months ago?”  
“Yes. I was there.”  
“Of course. Well Scott and I... We... I mean I...”  
“Changed your mind and now want to get rid of him? Because I’m sure I can still find someone interested.”  
“No, Talah. I love Scott. And I thought you told me the Falcons were getting out of that business.”  
“We will be as of tomorrow.”  
“Tomorrow? What’s so special about tomorrow”, questioned Katie.

“That’s when I take command of the Talons. That bastard who killed my father and took his place will be dead tonight and I will take my rightful place. The place that my father raised me for. And I want you by my side tomorrow as my second. Just like we planned.”  
“I’m sorry, Talah. I can’t be your second”, Katie regretfully said. “I’m getting out.”  
“Excuse me. What was that?”  
“I’m retiring. That’s what I called you over to tell you.”  
“You’re the Falcons best mercenary. We grew up together, dreaming of this day. This is his doing isn’t it”, Talah snarled.  
“No, actually it’s mine. He just thought I should take a year off. I’m the one who wants to stop.”  
“Why would you need to take anytime off?”

“I’m pregnant, Talah.”  
“What? You can’t be. You told me you guys were going to wait to have kids.”  
“Turns out when I told you that we were already going to have two.”  
“I’m so sorry, Katie- Did you say two?”  
“I did. We’re going to have twin girls. Why did you tell me you were sorry?”  
“Sorry that I didn’t sell him away despite you. He’s ruined you, Katie. You had such a promising future before him and now...”  
“Now I have an even more promising future with him and my girls. Please stop saying bad things about Scott. I love the both of you. I wish the two of you could get along. Maybe if you spent more time together.”

“Fine, Katie. I’ll arrange something to do with him. Now I’m sorry but I have to leave. I have to make sure everything is in place for tonight.”  
“Oh, okay. Maybe we can get together later this week?”  
“I’d like that. Good bye, Katie.”  
“Bye, Talah.”

He waited until he heard the front door close before he joined Katie in the living room. She was sitting slumped on the couch with her head bent towards the floor.  
“Hey, pixie.”  
“Hey, shiny. You were right. She does hate you.”  
Scott should have felt vindicated when she said that. And he would have if he didn’t see how miserable Katie was. He sat down beside her on the couch and wrapped an arm around her.  
“No, she doesn’t.”  
“She said you ruined me.”  
“She just said that because she was shocked by what you said. Hearing you were retiring instead of becoming her second, like you two always planned. You know you could still do that.”  
“No, I don’t want it anymore. All I want is you and our girls. I just wish Talah was happier about it and she liked you.”

“Just give her time. Maybe call her to get together after she is settled in to her new role.” He kissed the side of her head. “Don’t worry about it anymore tonight. Why don’t you go have a nap and when you wake up supper will be ready.”  
“Okay, my house husband.” She stood up from the couch and kissed him. “I’ll give her time. I’ll call her in a couple days to congratulate her.”  
“Sounds like a plan. Now go have a nap.” He watched her until the bedroom door closed behind her. Then he let his smile fall and dropped his head into his hands. That could have gone better.  
**************************************  
“Juno and Juliet”, said Sara.  
“Yep.”  
“I forgot Juno and Juliet.”  
“Yep again.”  
“How could I forget them? You mentioned them in your summary and I-“  
“Its okay, Sara. You didn’t get a chance to know them.” Scott couldn’t stop the tears from falling. Then again, he didn’t really want to. “I didn’t get a chance either.”  
“Scott.”  
He felt Sara’s arms around him. He buried his head in her shoulder and finally let himself fully grieve for his lost girls.


	9. Chapter 9

Scott lifted his head off Sara’s shoulder. It felt like he had been crying for hours.  
“Sara?”  
“I’m here, Scott. What do you need?”  
“I don’t know. Just stay please.”  
“I’m not going anywhere.”  
Scott looked around the room. His gaze caught on the box he had placed under the desk.  
“Scott”, questioned Sara. “What is it?”

He walked over and grabbed the box before walking back to the bed and setting it down on the floor.  
“This is everything I have left from that time. Well, almost everything. Katie’s sword is on the Tempest.”  
“I heard my brother was a bad ass with an asari sword.”  
“I had an incredible teacher. I guess there is also this”, he said, running his thumb over his ring. The ring that had never left his finger since Katie had slid it on. A sob escaped him as he remembered that day.  
“Scott, it’s okay. We can stop if you want.”  
“I do want to but maybe SAM is right.”  
“SAM's right? What about your sister?”  
“She’s annoying but maybe she’s right too.”

He sat back on the bed and lifted off the lid of the box. Reaching inside he pulled out a picture of Katie. She was standing in the middle of a living room stacked with boxes. He smiled at the picture before handing it to Sara.  
“My pixie.”  
“Oh, Scott. She’s beautiful.”  
“Yeah. That was taken on the day we moved.”  
“And you proposed. I can tell by the dress.”

He looked down into the box, at the picture that was on top of the pile. He ran a finger over it.  
“Scott?”  
He picked up the picture that was underneath the one he touched.  
“Here.” He passed her the picture. “This is the girl’s nursery.”  
“So cute. I love the colours.”  
“Katie picked them.”  
“She chose well.”  
“Yeah, she did.”  
*****************************************  
Scott stood in the doorway of the spare bedroom. His gaze traveled over the dark gray rocking chair in the corner to the mint green dresser before settling on the woman in the middle of the room. She was standing in the middle of a pile of lilac coloured pieces, glaring down at them.

“What are you doing, Katie?”  
“Good, you’re here”, she said, looking up at him. “I need help.”  
“I told you I would build the cribs next week. Why are you building them now?”  
“I don’t know. I got a feeling they should be built today. That the nursery should be complete.”  
“A feeling?”  
“Yes.”  
“Okay.”

“Now I have a question for you.”  
“Shoot.”  
“Are you sure we didn’t lose some pieces when we painted these things? I can’t find a piece.”  
“I made sure to check each piece was there before and after we painted. What piece are you looking for?”  
“The piece that connects the other pieces to the thing.”  
“I’m sorry. I don’t speak pixie. Can you translate that for me?”  
“Piece 2b, you shiny doofus”, she said, rolling her eyes at him.  
“By your left foot, Mrs. Shiny.”  
She glanced down.  
“Thanks. Now we need to find-“

“A feeling?”  
“Yes, Scott.”  
“Is this the same type of feeling you had a week ago? The same type of feeling that had us go out and buy all this stuff, before we spent the night painting and assembling everything but the cribs?”  
“Sort of. It’s very similar.”  
He crossed the room and wrapped his arms around her.  
“Katie, slow down. We have time. The girls won’t need this room for another six months.” His gaze caught on something. “The same six months we could change our minds about their names. So why did you paint them on the wall?”

“Because we both love those names and we won’t change our minds. And if they’re like their dad and aunt, they will be here in three months not six. You want them to sleep in a drawer?”  
Scott knew there was no way his pregnant wife would be distracted from her mission. He sat down on the floor and began to assemble the cribs.  
“Are you sure about the middle names”, he asked as Katie handed him a piece. “We don’t have to name both of them after-“  
“I think Juno Ellen and Juliet Harlow sounds perfect for them. We just need to decide which is which.” She pulled out the ultrasound picture from her pocket. The place it always was since they got it at their appointment yesterday. “I think the one on the right looks like a Juliet. Look at those rosebud lips.” She handed the ultrasound to him.  
“Yeah. And the one on the left does have a goddess look to her.”  
“What does a goddess look like”, she wondered.  
“Like you.” He smiled up at her.  
“You sweet talker.” She kissed the top of his head. “You finish this. I’m going to go start supper.”  
“Okay, my pixie goddess.” He focused on the ultrasound again. He studied both little forms in the picture. “Juno Ellen Ryder and Juliet Harlow Ryder. Can’t wait to meet you.”  
**********************************  
“...three months left”, he heard Sara say.  
Scott tore his gaze away from the ultrasound in his hand to focus on Sara.  
“Sorry. What was that”, he asked.  
“I was saying, based on your summary, you had three months left. With your girls.”

He handed the ultrasound to Sara.  
“Aunt Sara, meet your nieces.’‘  
“Oh, Scott. They’re beautiful.”  
“Sara, I didn’t have another three months with them.”  
“But you said you were tortured for six months before escaping and coming home. You were gone two years. You’ve only told me up to a year and three months.”  
“Escaping was a three month ordeal.”  
“But that would mean...”  
“I finished putting together the cribs. We ate supper and watched a vid. Then we went to bed. That was the last night I would fall asleep holding my wife. In less than twenty four hours my girls would be gone.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my sister for being such a great designer. I loved the colours she used in my niece's room so much that I stole them for Juno and Juliette's room.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some sweet fluffy moments between Scott and Katie ending in tragedy.

Scott couldn’t believe it. He was finally doing it. He was finally telling Sara about his girls. And it wasn’t as difficult as he thought it would be. That had to be because of Sara. She kept him grounded in the here and now. She helped him keep track of where he was in the telling. She didn’t rush him. She just sat there waiting for him to continue.  
He stared down at the floor. He didn’t know how to finish. He didn’t know if he could. Maybe it was okay to stop here for now. Sara would understand.  
“Scott, look at me.”  
He looked into her bluish gray eyes.  
“Sara?”  
“You can do this. You’ve come so far already. Now, finish it. Tell me.”  
*********************************  
Scott walked into the bedroom, where Katie stood before the closet.  
“You called pixie?”  
“Help me. I can’t figure out what to wear. And to make matters worse, half my clothes don’t fit me anymore. I’m only three months. I should be able to fit into my stuff.”  
“You’re tiny and carrying twins.”  
“Stating the obvious isn’t helping me, Scott.”  
“What’s wrong with what you’re wearing now?” She was wearing the white baby doll dress.  
“Nothing except I can’t zip it.” She turned around and Scott saw a two inch gap between the zipper.

“Where’s the leftover ribbon from making those bonnets?”  
“In the girl’s room. Why?”  
“I’ll be right back.” He gathered what he needed and returned to the bedroom. “Do you trust me, pixie?”  
“Of course I trust you. What’s this stuff for? What are you going to do?”  
“Turn around and stay still.”  
“Scott?”  
“Trust me.”

She sighed before turning her back to him.   
“You better not ruin this dress. I love it and so do you. So it doesn’t fit right now. After the girls are born it will. All my clothes will fit again.”  
“That’s the spirit. Hold this.”  
She grabbed something from his hand. “Is this... Scott, the zipper didn’t close because it was broken. It wouldn’t close because of my belly. Why did you remove it?”  
“I thought you trusted me?”  
“I do but-“  
“Then stay still and let me finish.”  
“Are you cutting my dress?!”  
“Just a little bit.”  
“You’re ruining it.”  
“Now you sound like Sara.”  
“You did this to one of Sara’s dresses?”  
“One of her dolls.”  
“Well at least you have experience doing this. Did it turn out okay?”  
“Everything was perfect. Even the stitches I had to give her doll after I cut it turned out perfect.”  
“You cut it? Scott, maybe I should-“  
“Stay still. Almost done.”  
“Scott, I really think-“  
“Done. Go take a look.”

She hurried to the mirror and turned around. The back of the dress had ribbons of lilac and mint green crisscrossing all the way down, ending in a bow at the small of her back.  
“Oh, shiny. It’s beautiful.”  
“I told you to trust me. Just don’t tug the ribbon too hard. I’ll finish stitching it when you come back.”  
“I love that we’ve known each other for over a year and you can still surprise me. Who taught you to sew?”  
“Mom. She taught both of us. It’s one of my many hidden talents.”  
“I look forward to discovering them all. Now I’ve got to leave or I’ll be late.”

“Where are you going with Talah and why can’t I come?”  
“I have no idea. She said it was a surprise. And you can’t come because she wants it to just be the two of us.”  
“Of course she does. She doesn’t like me.”  
“Scott, she finally called me after two weeks of silence. I have never gone that long without talking to her. So for now, if she just wants to see me, that’s what I’ll agree to.”  
“Fine. She can’t hate me forever.”  
“That’s the spirit.” She stood on her tiptoes to kiss him. “I love you, shiny. I’ll be back later. I’ll call you if I won’t be home for supper.”  
“Love you too, pixie. Be careful.”  
“Always am. See you later.”

After she left he tidied the apartment, before stretching out on the living room couch. His thoughts were of Talah. Why did she hate him? And why was he worried about Katie seeing her alone? They were like sisters. Talah would never hurt Katie. He was just being paranoid. She would be fine. He closed his eyes and went to sleep.  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++   
Scott woke with a start. Someone was pounding on the door. He rubbed a hand over his face. What time was it? Who was pounding on the door at- He looked at his wrist. Eighteen hundred? Where was Katie? Why hadn’t she called to say she would be late? He tried to call her on the way to the door but it wouldn’t connect. Where was Katie and why did she have her omni-tool off?

He opened the door to see Talah standing on the other side. Her hair was half out of her ponytail. Her outfit was covered in stains. Her eyes simmered with tears.  
Scott just stared at her. What was she doing here? Why did she look like this? Where was his wife?  
“Scott, I need to... Scott, I’m sorry... Scott, Katie is..” She half sobbed the start of several sentences.  
At the mention of his wife’s name he came out of his trance.

“Talah, where’s Katie? Are you okay? What happened?”  
“I... Katie and I...” She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. When she opened her eyes the tears were gone. “Katie and I were just finishing shopping at this store when a fight broke out outside it. Katie was turning to look outside when...”  
“When what, Talah?” He grabbed her shoulders and shook her a little. “What... Please, where is my wife?” His eyes went to the dark stains on Talah's outfit. Stains that had a red tint to them. Tears formed in his eyes with the realization of what was coming. He dropped to his knees and grabbed Talah’s hand.  
“Katie isn’t... Please no, not my pixie. Katie.” He sobbed against Talah’s leg.  
“She was shot. I tried to stop the bleeding. To save her even knowing I couldn’t save the twins. They were already gone. The bullets had already killed them.”  
“No! No, not my girls. Juno and Juliet and Katie. Why? Why did this happen? Why”, he wept.

Talah pulled him to his feet and steered him into the apartment. She sat him on the couch.  
“I’m sorry but I have to leave. I’ll be back tomorrow.”  
He curled up on the couch, looking up at her.  
“Talah? Why? Katie’s not... My babies. Why are you doing this?”  
“I’m sorry about them, Scott. I truly am.” She rubbed a hand on his back. “Stay here, Scott. Don’t leave the apartment. Don’t make it any harder on yourself.”  
“Juno, Juliet.”  
“I’m so sorry they had to die.”  
“Pixie.”  
“Good bye, Scott. I’ll see you soon.”  
He barely registered her leave as he continued to sob. He sobbed the rest of the night, finally succumbing to sleep as the new day began.


	11. Chapter 11

“I woke up the next day and wished I hadn’t.” Scott spoke in a monotone. “That I had died in the night so I could be with Katie and my babies. I got off the couch and went into the nursery. I just sat there the entire day, not moving. Then day turned to night. A day that didn’t have my Katie in it. A day where she didn’t sit in the chair and talk to our girls about how pretty their room was. How we couldn’t wait to meet them. Looking around I thought “why was this still here if they weren’t? Why did their room survive but they didn’t?” The next thing I know, I’m standing in the middle of the nursery. Everything is destroyed, laying in pieces all around me. The only thing left is our girl’s names on the wall.”

“Sara, please”, he sobbed.  
“What is it, Scott?”  
“I need to stop.”  
“Of course you can stop.” Sara watched as her brother dissolved into tears. She moved to comfort him but he flinched when he felt her touch. “Scott?”  
“Don’t”  
“Scott, it’s okay.” She got an arm around him before he shoved her off the bed. “What the fuck, Scott”, she exclaimed.  
“Sorry. I just... I can’t...”

She glared at Scott as he crossed to the table and leaned on it. She watched his back heave as he tried to stop crying. “Scott?” His hands balled into fists on the table. “You-“  
“Can I have a fucking minute, please”, he exploded.  
“Okay, jeez.” Her eyes went to the box on the floor. She crawled over to look inside. “What the...?” She pulled out a black metal collar that was about an inch thick all around. “Scott, what’s this?”

He turned around to face her.  
“Put it back”, he ordered.  
She looked up at him.  
“What is it?”  
“It’s nothing.”  
“If it’s nothing why did you put it in this box”, she wondered.  
He strode across the room and yanked it from her hand, throwing it back in the box.  
“I didn’t”, he proclaimed. “I didn’t put anything in that box.”  
“Who did?”

Scott sat back on the bed.  
“Sara, can you do something for me?”  
“Of course, little brother. Anything.”  
“Stop sitting on the floor.”  
She got up and sat beside him.  
“That was easy.”  
“No, not that. I’m going to try and tell you the rest. Can you not say anything until I ask you to?”  
“Of course. But Scott, look-“Her eyes widened in surprise as Scott covered her mouth with his hand.  
“Starting now. Okay, Sara?”  
She nodded and he removed his hand.  
“Thank you. So I stood in the nursery, staring at the wall for I don’t know how long, when I heard the front door open.”  
************************************  
Scott turned towards the sound of the door opening. Katie? It had to be. They were the only ones with the door codes. He made it into the hall before his instincts took over. Two voices. Neither of them female. He quietly stepped back into the nursery. His hand went behind him to grab his pistol but the holster was empty. He quickly removed it and started at it in disbelief. How and when had that happened? Even the two spare clips were gone.  
“Clear.”  
“Clear.”

They were sweeping the apartment, looking for something. It must be him but why... Katie. These must be the people who killed Katie. Now they had come for him for some reason. Even without his gun he wouldn’t make it easy for them. He waited, back against the wall by the door, for them to enter.  
“Boss, you were right. Activate it.”

Activate what? He heard a hissing sound above the door but couldn’t see what was making it in the dark.  
“Couple more seconds and we’ll have him. Easiest capture I’ve ever done.”  
Capture? He activated a barrier between the door and himself but it was already too late. The gas was in his system. He collapsed to the floor as the door opened.  
“We have him”, he heard before he passed out.  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++   
The fog slowly cleared from his mind. Someone was talking to him. He blinked against the bright lights.  
“Scott?”  
His eyes tracked over the room.  
“Over here, son.”  
His eyes found Alec sitting on his right side.  
“There you go. How do you feel”, he asked.  
“Nauseous. And confused. What are you doing here, Alec? And where is here?” It looked like a med ward, complete down to the bed he was propped up in.  
“What’s the last thing you remember, son?”  
“I thought I told you I wasn’t your son anymore, Alec. Get out of here.”  
“I will when you tell me. What’s the last thing you remember?”

He sifted through the fog in his mind.  
“Collapsing on the floor of the girl’s nursery. There was some sort of gas.” Tears fell down his cheeks as he remembered the events that led to him being in the nursery that night. His girls were dead. He would never see his pixie again.  
“I heard about what happened. I’m sorry for your loss, Scott. I know what you’re going through.”  
“You dare? You have no idea”, he sneered. “You had years with mom. I had barely one. You got to see your twins grow up. I didn’t even get to see mine. Don’t you dare assume you know what I’m feeling right now, Alec”, he demanded. You have no idea. You never have.”  
“Scott-“  
“No. Shut up.”

He looked around the room. “Where am I and how long have I been here?”  
“You’ve been here about nine months.”  
“What? Nine months? How? What happened?”  
“That gas you remember was poison. It almost killed you. It would have without SAM. You’ve been in a coma since then.”  
“A coma? SAM?”  
“Hello, Scott.”  
“Hi, SAM. Alec, what did you mean that without...?” His eyes widened in horror as he looked at Alec. “You didn’t.”  
“Scott.”  
“You fucking didn’t.”  
“Scott, listen to me.”  
“I’ll listen as long as it’s you saying you didn’t shove SAM into my head.”  
“I had no other options.”  
“I’m sure.”  
“You were dying right in front of me. I couldn’t let that happen.”  
“Of course you couldn’t. It might get back to the Initiative and ruin your reputation.”  
“Damn it, Scott. I didn’t do it because of the Initiative. I did it because I-“

“Where are we? You never answered me. I assume somewhere on Omega.”  
“We’re on Earth.”  
“Earth? But I live on Omega. My life is on Omega.”  
“Your life was on Omega. That’s over now. It’s time you come home with your sister and I.”  
“That’s your home.”  
“It’s yours too, son.”  
“My home died on Omega. Like I should have. Like you should have let me.”  
“Scott, I couldn’t leave you to that fate.”  
“No, of course not. Go away, Alec. I want to sleep.”  
“Okay, Scott. I’ll be here when you wake up, if you want.”  
“Do what you want. You always have anyway.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One last Sara and Scott interlude before Scott reveals all.

“So you were poisoned, dad rescued you and you returned to Earth?”  
“Yep.”  
“That doesn’t sound bad. I mean it wasn’t good but it wasn’t worth the secrecy. You should have told me, Scott.”  
“Sarah.”  
“So dad had to rescue you. Big deal. I wouldn’t have teased you that bad. Especially after hearing what happened to Katie.”  
“Sarah.”  
“I would have been more focused on helping you through your grief. The teasing could have waited.”  
“My older, wiser sister.”  
“Yes, Scott?”

“That’s what I remembered had happened at the time. It’s not what actually happened.”  
“What are you saying, Scott?”  
“Things happened between me passing out in the nursery and waking up on Earth. Things that dad tried to make me forget. Things that I wish he had succeeded in helping me forget.”  
“Are you sure? Maybe you were just having bad dreams.”  
“I did have those. Dreams where I was trapped in the dark. Dreams full of pain and a woman’s voice. My favourites were the ones where I heard dads voice instead.”  
“Why would dad be in your nightmares? He rescued you.”  
“That’s what I asked him. His response was to suggest getting SAM to help me sleep. And speaking of dad, he’s the reason I didn’t tell you about them. He told me not to tell you.”  
“What? Why would he say that?”  
“Something about focusing about getting to Andromeda, there would be plenty of time to tell you then. Never mind the fact I have always told you everything since we could talk. Now I had to keep a secret from you for six months.”  
“Which probably was made harder by my asking about those two years constantly?”  
“Definitely didn’t help.”

“So why didn’t you tell me when we got to Andromeda? And don’t use the I just woke up from a coma excuse.”  
“Because by the time you had woken up I knew the full truth about what happened. I knew but I couldn’t talk about it. Some days I can barely handle thinking about it. If I told you about Katie, I would have to tell you everything. I just couldn’t”  
“You didn’t have to. You could have told me what you just did and left it at that.”  
“I could have. I could have kept lying to you but then when you found out on your own, you would have been furious at me.”  
“Who says I would have figured it out?”

“Where was dad about a year before we left?”  
“Earth. Probably in some meetings about the Initiative.”  
“That’s funny. He told me he never left my side the whole time I was in that coma. Another question for you, Sara. Do you know when dad traveled to Omega?”  
“About three months before you came home. When did you figure it out?”

“When I entered Sloane Kelly’s throne room, I had a memory flash before my eyes. I saw myself kneeling beside that same throne that had a different person on it. That person was also talking to a Ryder but that Ryder wasn’t me. It was dad.”  
“Dad? Are you sure it was a memory?”  
“After barely getting out of that room alive and meeting Reyes I took a moment in that maintenance corridor. I told myself it wasn’t a memory. It was just my nightmares invading my daytime. I pushed it down and did my job. I visited Vehn Terev and got the Kett transponder from the badlands. I returned to the Tempest and I gave it to Gil. I had supper with my crew and we played soccer in the cargo bay.” He reached over and gripped her hand in his.  
“After saying good night to them I went to my room. I went to my room and confronted SAM. He maintained that what dad told me was true. He kept saying that until I had the idea to check dad’s old calendar on the computer. Even with the evidence that dad lied on screen; he still told me I was wrong. That I had the dates mixed up.”  
“How were you so sure, Scott? You have in the past.”  
“I will always remember the day my girls were taken from me. I will remember that day until I die.” His voice cracked on the last word. He took a deep breath and continued. “And since dad supposedly rescued me the day after, I was pretty sure I was right about the date. So I told SAM that and guess what he said?”

“Dad lied.”  
“Dad lied. SAM said he lied to protect me but he still lied to me about what happened. But that wasn’t the worst part. Tell her, SAM.”  
“Scott, I only did it because your father ordered me to.”  
“Did what”, Sara questioned.  
“Alec told me to block the memory of those nine months from Scott. Obviously I did not fully succeed in that task.”  
“Why would dad make SAM do that?”

He grabbed both of her hands, eyes locked on their grasp.  
“Sara, he did do it to protect me. I understand that better now I know. I’m still mad at him but he didn’t lie about one thing. He did save me. He saved me from...” He sighed before meeting her gaze. “Turn back, Sara. Turn back before it’s too late.”  
“What the hell are you talking about? Turn back from what?”

“The truth. Sara, I’m not dad. I won’t lie to you if you want to know. But before I do tell, I want you to know, it’s bad.”  
“Scott.”  
“It’s very bad.” Tears fell down his cheeks. “Scott.” She placed her hand on his face, wiping away his tears with her thumb. “Whatever happened, you survived it. You survived it and came home to me. And nothing you tell me will change my opinion of you. You’re my brother, Scott. I love you.”

He placed his hand over hers.  
“I love you too, Sara.” He took a deep breath, gripping both her hands. “Okay, so the beginning didn’t change. And I still woke up on Earth.”  
“Did you still get gassed in the nursery?”  
“Yes. Except for now I don’t wake up to the brightness of Earth. I wake to darkness.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The promised torture begins next chapter.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The torture begins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who's read this so far.

Scott woke in darkness. Where was he? He tried to sit up but his head hit something about a foot above him. What the hell? He raised his arms from across his chest to feel what he hit. Whatever it was, it went as far as his arms could reach. The sides hugged his body so close he couldn’t get his fingers between the two.

He was trapped. Trapped in a container of some sort. Trapped in the darkness. He pounded against the ceiling of the container.  
“Help. Get me out. Please let me out.”  
He stopped as he heard a familiar hissing sound. He held his breath as long as possible but he finally had to breathe. And... Nothing. He was still conscious. So what had that hissing sound been?”  
“Help.” He pounded on the container. “Help, please help me.” The hissing sound was back. “Let me out. Please let-“He slipped into unconsciousness.  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
Was this the twentieth time he woke up or the ninetieth? He thought it was twenty but he wasn’t sure. It was hard to keep track when all he saw was constant darkness.  
He wondered-  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
“Pet?”  
“Hmmm?”  
“Open your eyes. Slowly though. You’ve been in the dark for a month.”  
Someone was talking to him. He opened his eyes. It wasn’t as dark as it had been. He thought he saw someone standing there.  
“Hello?”  
“Hello, my pet. How are you feeling?” The voice sounded familiar.  
“Talah”, he asked.  
“Very good”, Talah exclaimed. “Turn up the lights a little more.”

He squinted against the brightness.  
“Talah? What is this? What’s going on?” He tried to stand but couldn’t. He looked down to see he was strapped to a chair, stripped of all his clothes but his pants. “What the fuck?”  
“Language, my pet.”  
“Talah, help me.”  
“Why would I help free you when I’m the one who strapped you there?”  
“You what? Why would you do this?”  
“This is what happens when you fuck up the plans of the head of the Falcons.”  
“I didn’t fuck anything up.”  
“Yes, you did. You fucked up my plan. My plan to ransom you to Alec Ryder.”  
“How did I fuck that up?”  
“You got Katie to fall in love with you.”  
“I didn’t make Katie do anything she didn’t want to do. I couldn’t. If I could, I would have been there and she wouldn’t be dead. Did you even try to save her?”  
“As I was the one who killed her, no I didn’t.”  
“What did you say”, he demanded.  
“I killed Katie, Juno, and Juliet. I killed your girls.”

Scott sat there in stunned silence, tears pouring down his face. What was wrong with him? He should be screaming at Talah. Fighting to get free so he could kill her. Why did he just feel numb?  
“You’re progressing on schedule, my pet.”  
“Why, Talah? You’re best friends.”  
“For twenty two years. Ever since my family took her in when we were six, after her parents were killed. I guess she was more like my sister then my friend.”  
“Then why, Talah? She loves you.”  
“And I loved her. But when I became head of the Falcons six weeks ago, I started hearing talk. ‘Katie defied Talah and lived. Katie defied Talah and nothing happened to her or Scott.’ Only just started and I was facing an uprising.”  
“Nothing happened? We had to pay you two million credits.”  
“But you still lived. They saw it as a sign of weakness that Katie lived. Lived and was in a relationship with the person she defied me for.”

“But why kill Katie instead of me? She never would have defied you if not for me.”  
“Killing Katie was an act of mercy. Because I loved her I made sure she didn’t suffer.”  
“How is murdering someone an act of mercy?”  
“Because of the two ways I could make an example of someone, I chose the quickest way for her. And since, as you said she never would have defied me if not for you, the second way belongs to you.”  
“What way is that? Strap me to a chair and yammer at me?” Scott didn’t like the way she smiled at him. It was positively feral.  
“You haven’t figured it out? Think, pet. Everything that’s happened since your capture has been a part of it.”

He thought back. He realized with a dawning horror what Talah meant to do with him.  
“No”, he murmured.  
“What was that, my pet”, she asked.  
“I said no. And I am not your pet.”  
“So strong willed. I’m going to have fun breaking you. Then after, you will always be by my side. A living, breathing example not to fuck with me. My pet.”  
“I am not and will never be your pet.”  
She pulled a needle from her jacket before crossing the space between them to inject him.  
“What the fuck was that?”  
“Just something to help the process. It’s a shame you don’t want to be my pet. You know why?”  
“Why?”  
“Wearing a collar suits you.” Before he could process what she said, she injected him again. Her feral smile was the last thing he saw before everything faded to black.


	14. Chapter 14

Scott laid in the dark. How long had he been in this stupid crate until he had woken up? How long had it been since he woke up in this stupid crate. He was usually good at keeping track of time but he couldn’t figure it out. He closed his eyes as he heard a familiar hissing sound. He felt utterly spent of energy to do anything. He couldn’t be bothered to try and escape. What would be the point? It wouldn’t work. Talah would see to that.

He opened his eyes. What had Talah said? She had mentioned something before everything went black. What had it been? Was it why he had so little energy or was that because of what Talah injected him with? He felt himself drifting off again. He forced himself to focus. He needed to figure this out. She had said something about... a collar? 

He raised a hand to his neck. Something was there. He ran his hands along it, trying to find the end but it completely encircled his neck. He tried to get his fingers under it. He just worked his pinkie under it when the familiar blue glow of his biotics surrounded him. Before he could focus them his whole body began to convulse. He was in agony and utterly helpless against the electricity flowing through his body.  
The convulsions finally came to a stop as a white light engulfed him. He slammed his eyes shut as he tried to stand. His legs gave out on him so he had to be content with kneeling on the ground as his eyes adjusted to the light.

“What the fuck was that?”  
“That is what happens when you try to remove your collar, my pet.”  
“Talah?”  
“Yes, my pet. But from this moment onwards you will refer to me as Mistress.”  
“Fuck off, Talah. I’m not your pet.”  
“Oh, really? Look at me.”  
He opened his eyes to see Talah standing in front of him. She was holding a small black box in her right hand.  
“This is going to help train you. Do you want to know what it does?”  
“Go fuck yourself.” His whole body convulsed as he fell forwards onto the floor.  
“It does that. This device overloads your biotic implants so electricity floods your nervous system. It’s ingenious really. I’m using your own body against you, my pet.”  
“Not your pet.”  
“I’m sorry, I didn’t hear that. Do you want to try again?”

He raised his face from the floor.  
“I said, Talah, that I am not your pet.”  
She flipped him onto his back when he stopped convulsing.  
“Let me make a few things clear. You are never escaping me. The only way this ends is you as my pet. So you can either flop around on the floor or submit and call me Mistress. Which do you choose?”  
He managed to get to his feet before looking Talah in the eye.  
“Mistress?”  
“Yes, my-“  
He ripped the box from her hands and smashed it on the ground. He had a moment to enjoy the startled look on her face before the electricity flooded his body once more.

“Did you really think that would work? This is only going to end one way. The sooner you accept your fate, the happier you’ll be.”  
“I will never submit to you. I will not be your pet and I will escape you.”  
“Oh, really. Look at me, pet.”  
He met her eyes as she injected him.  
“Say what you want but progress has already been made. Another month in your crate should do it. See you then, my pet.”  
He tried to respond but the darkness claimed him.  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++   
Scott lay in the dark, listening to the constant hissing sound in his crate. Annoying him with sound must be one of Talah's plans to make him submit. But like her plans before, it wouldn’t work. He would never call her Mistress. He would keep insisting he was no pet of hers. He would fight her with everything he had until he was able to escape. And he would escape Mistress. He didn’t know how or when but it would happen. One day he would be free and hopefully she would be dead. Scott slammed his eyes shut as the lid was removed from his crate.

“Hello, my pet. I know you must have missed me so get out of your crate and let’s get started.”  
“No.”  
“Again with the no. What is it this time?”  
“I am not your pet and I will not call you Mistress. My name is Scott, your name is Talah, and you are going to let me go.”  
He thought he would have gotten used to it by now but the agony was just as bad. Just when he thought it was over another wave hit him and he was convulsing again. Finally, it was over. He lay in his crate, panting in exhaustion. 

“Repeat that for me, my pet.”  
“I will never be your pet, Mistress. So why don’t you give up and let me go.”  
“At my favourite part? Out of your crate, pet. I don’t think so.”  
“What part is that, Mistress?”  
“Sit, pet. If I tell you that, it’s not as fun for me.”  
“Fuck you, Mistress.”  
“What was that?”  
He looked up at her.  
“I said fuck you, Talah.”  
“Sure you did.”  
“I did.”  
“I believe you. I also believe you said you wouldn’t leave your crate.”  
“I did and I won’t.”  
“Look down.”  
“What the-“When he finally stopped convulsing he was back in his crate.

“That was fun and now it’s mere minutes until you’re my pet.”  
“I don’t know what that was but I will never be your pet, Mistress.”  
“Because you have a name? What was it, pet?”  
“Scott, Mistress.”  
“Forget it, my pet. You have no name, you are now and forever my pet.”  
“Fuck you, Mistress. My name is Scott and I won’t forget it.”  
“Pet?”  
“Yes, Mistress?”

He stared up at her in horror. What had he said? He couldn’t have. He would never call Mistress, Talah. No, he would never call Mistress, Mistress. No! What was wrong with him? He was in control. Mistress, not him. No. His name was... He sobbed in frustration.  
“You know, I think I was wrong.”  
He sat up in his crate. He had to escape now. He had to escape before Mistress fully controlled him.  
“Do you want to know what I was wrong about, Scott?”  
He stared at her in bewilderment.  
“Mistress?” He didn’t like the way Mistress smiled at him. It was positively feral. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”  
“That’s okay, pet. It doesn’t concern you anymore. Now lay down in your crate and go to sleep. When you wake up you’ll be in your new home.”  
“Okay. Good night, Mistress.”  
“Good night, my pet. Good bye, Scott Ryder.”  
Lying in the darkness, waiting for sleep to claim him, he pondered what Mistress had said. Good bye, Scott Ryder? Who was Scott Ryder?


	15. Chapter 15

Pet ran a finger down the side of the throne. It felt like he had been kneeling here for hours. He sighed.  
“Pet?”  
He looked up and met her eyes.  
“Mistress?”  
“Is something wrong”, she asked.  
“No. Everything’s fine.”  
“Tell me, pet.”  
“I’m bored. Are you almost done?”  
“Getting tired of kneeling beside me?”  
“That’s all I do. It’s all I’ve done for...” He paused. How long had it been?

“Three months”, she reflected  
“Mistress?”  
“You’ve been my pet for three months now. Three months you’ve kneeled by my side.”  
“That’s all I’ve done. That’s all I do. Can’t I help in anyway?”  
“You’re already helping plenty.”  
“How?”  
“Tell you what. I still have to be here for another couple of hours. Why don’t you go back to my room and have a nap?”  
“In my crate?”  
“Of course.”  
“Why do I always have to sleep in my crate? Can’t I sleep somewhere else?”  
“No, you can’t”  
“But why?”  
“Because that’s the rule. Now go, pet. You will feel better after your nap.”

He made his way down the hall. The only thing he seemed to do was kneel beside Mistress. Why couldn’t he do something else? He was sure he could help in some way.   
He entered the room and lay down in his crate. What had Mistress said? He already helped plenty? How was kneeling beside her helpful? He pulled the lid closed over himself. Maybe he would ask her again after his nap. With the familiar hissing sound in his ear, he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++   
“Pet?”  
“Hmmm?”  
“Pet, open your eyes.”  
He opened his eyes but closed them when the room began to spin.  
“Give me your hand, pet.”  
He raised his arm and was pulled from his crate.  
“That’s my good pet. Sit here.”  
He was gently pushed onto something soft. He managed to keep his eyes open long enough to see he was on the bed.

“Mistress?”  
“It’s okay, pet. You can be on the bed for now.” Mistress rubbed his back. “Take some deep breaths. How do you feel?”  
“Bad. The room keeps spinning.”  
“I’m sorry, pet”, she apologized. “I only remembered how long it had been when you became restless this afternoon. I should have prepared you for this part better.”  
“What part? What’s wrong with me?”  
A knock sounded on the door.  
“Lie down, pet. I’ll be right back.”

He curled up on the foot of the bed and opened his eyes. The room had stopped spinning but he still felt nauseous. He watched Mistress as she opened the door a crack.  
“Yes? What is so important you had to bother me now?”  
“My apologies, Talah”, he heard a woman say from the hall. “I thought you would want to hear this right away.”  
“Out with it then”, Mistress demanded.  
“I was at Afterlife when I saw Alec Ryder. He-“  
“Alec is on Omega? For what?”  
“To find Scott. He was asking people if they had seen him.”  
“What did they tell him?”  
“Everyone said they hadn’t seen him. A turian was about to say something but he stopped when he saw me watching them.”  
“Good job.”  
“Thank you, Talah.”

“The last thing we need is Alec trying to get Scott back. Not that he will be able to. And in a couple of days it will be a moot point, of course.”  
“Of course, Talah.”  
“Then again. Can you imagine his face when he sees what has become of his precious son? When he enters my domain and sees his son kneeling beside me. Stripped of his name and no thoughts but the ones I give him. Treated like he’s less than human and calling me Mistress.”  
“That is a pretty nice image, Talah.”  
“Maybe we should make it happen.”  
“Forgive my forwardness but I might have talked to Alec Ryder. I might have suggested you might know where Scott is.”  
“And how did he respond to what you might have told him?”  
“He asked where he could find you. He is on his way here now.”  
“Very good job.”  
“Thank you, Talah.”  
“Now go away. I have to prepare my pet for this meeting.” 

Mistress closed the door and returned to sit beside him on the bed. She ran a hand through his hair.   
“How’s my pet feeling now? Is the room still spinning?”  
“Mistress?”  
“Yes, my pet?”  
“Who else calls you Mistress?”  
“Only you, my pet.” She ran her hand along his back.  
“Does that make me the one you were talking about?” Mistress’s hand stopped.  
“What did you hear?”  
You called them less than human. Someone named Alec Ryder is looking for them. Is it me? Am I Sc-“  
“Stop talking, pet.”  
Mistress looked so mad at him. Tears poured down his face. Was she mad because of what he said? All he wanted to know was-  
“Pet?”

A high pitched whine sounded in the room. His eyes widened in surprise. Was that him who made that sound?  
“Pet? What is it?”  
The same whine again. It was him making that sound. His heart raced. What was wrong with him? Why couldn’t he talk? He whimpered into the bed.  
“Pet, calm down. Look at me.”  
Mistress didn’t look angry anymore. In fact, she was smiling.  
“Come here, my pet.”  
He put his head in her lap. She ran her fingers through his hair.  
“You can talk again, pet”  
“Mistress, what-“  
“Listen to me, pet. You didn’t hear anything from the time I left the bed until I returned to it. Now what were you going to say?”

What had he been saying? He couldn’t remember. He only knew one thing.  
“I don’t feel well.”  
“I know, my pet. The next couple of days are going to be rough for you. Unfortunately we have an important meeting to get to.”  
“Can’t I stay here? Something’s wrong with me.”  
“No, my pet. For this meeting I need you by my side. Now follow me.”  
When they entered the throne room he stopped in surprise. Mistress turned around to look at him.  
“What is it, my pet?”  
“Where is everyone?” The room was empty. Usually, at least five members of the Talons were present to preserve order.  
“This is going to be a private audience. Just Alec Ryder and me.”  
“Who’s Alec Ryder?”  
“No one to you. Can you do something for me?”  
“Of course, Mistress. Anything.”  
“Can you wait here until I call you?”  
“Here?” If he waited here at the side entrance no one would see him until he kneeled beside the throne. “Mistress, I don’t-“  
“Wait here until I call you, pet.”  
He watched as Mistress crossed to her throne and sat down, opening a comm channel.  
“Is he here? How does he seem? Send him in.” She closed her omni-tool. “Pet?”  
“Yes, Mistress?”  
“No talking, pet.” Mistress leaned back in her throne. “This is going to be fun.”

A man entered the room.  
“Alec Ryder”, Mistress said.  
“Talah, I presume.”  
“You presume correct.”  
“It was a pretty safe presumption. We are the only ones here.”  
“Why are you here? What business brings a disgraced, former N7 to Omega?”  
“Scott Ryder. Word is you might know where I can find him.”  
I know where you can find the one who used to answer to that name.”  
“Used to answer to? What are you talking about?”  
“Pet, come here.”

He kneeled in his usual position by the throne and looked at the man. Why did he look so surprised?  
“Scott?!”  
Who was the man talking to?”  
“Pet?”  
He whined at Mistress. She ran a hand through his hair.  
“That’s my good pet.”  
“What the fuck did you do to my son?!”  
“He is not your son, Alec. Not anymore. He’s my pet. Isn’t that right, pet?”  
He began to answer her when the room began to spin again. He whimpered in fear.  
“Pet?”  
“Scott?”  
He fell over onto the floor before everything went black.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pet tries to figure out what's going on with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy N7 day everyone! Enjoy!

Pet opened his eyes and sat up on the bed. The bed? What was he doing on the bed? He looked towards the head of the bed to see Mistress under the blanket. Why was Mistress sleeping? He had never been awake when she wasn’t  
He ran a hand over his bare chest. Sweat was dripping off him and making his pants stick to him. He glanced across the room. Maybe if he opened the window it would cool down some. He stood up off the bed only to have his legs give out on him. He glared at his legs before turning his glare to the window. He was determined to open that window, now more than ever.

He got on his hands and knees, waiting a moment to see if he would fall again. Smiling smugly, he crawled to the wall and looked up at the window. Using the wall, he pulled himself upright. He got a hand on the window lock before falling back down. He tried twice more before giving up. Growling in frustration, he looked around for another way to open the window.

“Pet?” Mistress was sitting up in bed looking at him. “What are you doing?”  
He whined, pointing up at the window.  
“You don’t need the window open. It’s freezing in here.”  
He whined again, still pointing up at the window.  
“I said no. Lay back down, pet”, she ordered. Mistress sighed. “Lay back down on the bed, pet.”  
He curled up at the bottom of the bed, growling in annoyance.  
“It’s like that, uh? Such a stubborn pet you are. Look at me. You’re sweating buckets, my poor pet. Are you too hot? Is that why you want the window open?”  
Pet whined as Mistress petted his hair.  
“Would you like to visit the backyard for a little bit? Would you like that, my pet?”  
He jumped off the bed and crawled to the door.  
“I’ll take that as a yes. Go on then.”

He paused in the doorway and looked back. Wasn’t she coming with him? He never went anywhere without Mistress.  
“What is it? Talk to me, pet.”  
He tried but all that came out was a whine. He tried again with the same result. He glanced at Mistress, afraid she would be angry. She was smiling that feral smile that he hated.  
“Don’t be afraid, pet. I’m not angry. Everything is happening as it’s supposed to. Now go outside, pet.”  
As the door closed behind him, Pet could have sworn he heard Mistress laughing.  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++   
Pet pulled himself onto the bench by the back alley entrance with trembling arms. He was exhausted. He had to crawl all the way here. Every time he tried to walk he only managed four or five steps before his legs gave out.  
He leaned back on his arms and closed his eyes. Something was wrong with him. He couldn’t walk, his stomach was constantly twisting and untwisting, and every so often the world would spin before him. That wasn’t the worst of it though. He was sweating so much he was leaving puddles. He was so hot he was surprised he didn’t give off steam when he sat on the ice cold bench.

Mistress had said everything was happening as it should but what had she meant? Could it be tied to how he was feeling? No, it couldn’t. Mistress would never let anything bad happen to him. Mistress loved him. But what had she meant? He would have to ask her in the morning. For now, he was content where he was.

He didn’t move as the gate squeaked open. The entire faction used this entrance upon returning from an assignment and no one in the faction would hurt him. Not after what Mistress did to the man who cracked one of his ribs. He had missed what happened to the man. He was asleep in his crate for the week his rib needed to heal. After that everyone was extremely careful around him, lest they provoke Mistress again.

His eyes snapped open as he felt his wrists being bound together. Who would dare? He struggled to free his hands as a man stepped in front of him.  
“Scott, it’s me. Please listen to me.”  
Pet growled as the man gripped his chin.  
“Look at me, Scott. Talah is messing with your mind. You are not her pet. You are my son. You are Scott Ryder.”

He snarled at the man before getting to his feet. He managed one step before falling face first to the ground. He lay there, whimpering in pain, as something was injected into his neck.  
“It’s okay, son. I’ve got you.”  
A hand rubbed his back as darkness descended.  
“I’m sorry, Scott.”


	17. Chapter 17

Drowning in a puddle of his own sweat was not the way he wanted to die. He struggled to flip himself onto his back. The pain shooting up his still bound arms quelled any triumph he felt as he finally succeeded.

Now that the drowning issue was solved, where was he? Pet looked around at what looked like a small storage room. He couldn’t tell where he was or what the room might have been used for because it was empty. A clanking sound drew his attention to his feet. His right ankle had a shackle around it. A chain was attached to it, with the end bolted to the floor. Someone liked antiquated methods. But who?  
The door slid open and a man stepped inside, speaking on his omni-tool.

“Thanks, Harper. I’ll keep you updated on my return.”  
The man closed his omni-tool and met his stare. Who was he and why did he look familiar?  
“Scott?”  
Why was the man saying- This was the man he saw talking to Mistress. He had asked about this Scott. He also was the man who abducted him. Alec. His name was Alec Ryder. His growl turned into a whimper as a wave of pain went through his head.  
“Scott, it’s okay.”  
He felt a hand grip his shoulder. He opened his eyes and met Alecs.  
“I’m here, Scott.”  
He whimpered as another wave hit him.  
“SAM, what can you tell me?”  
“A scan would provide me additional insight.”  
He looked wildly around the room. Where was that voice coming from? It was only Alec and him in the room.  
“It’s ok, Scott. It’s just SAM talking. You know SAM. What do you got, SAM?”  
“There is a small electronic locater on his left ankle. It is active. Might I suggest destroying it before we have unwanted company?”  
“Damn. How did I miss that?”  
“It is very new. I hypothesis it was put in place after your meeting with Talah.”  
“She was worried this would happen.”  
“We can assume.”  
“So what did she do to you, Scott?”  
Another wave hit him. He wanted Mistress. She would stop the pain.

“Scott has a fever of 107.6 degrees. That combined with all his other symptoms lead me to believe Talah has drugged him with-“  
“How long, SAM?”  
“Alec?”  
“I’ve heard of this. After six months the drug burns away the last of their humanity with no hope of recovery. The only good thing is that the person only lasts another year or two before their system gives out and they die. I won’t let that happen to Scott. How long, SAM?”  
“Six months. I’m sorry, Alec. There is nothing to be done. I predict Scott will be dead in nine months.”  
“I didn’t accept that with Ellen. There is no way I will accept it with Scott.”

Pet watched as Alec paced the room. His head was pounding. The room was so hot he was surprised it didn’t spontaneously burst into flames. Why did Alec look so upset? And who was this Ellen he mentioned?  
“Ellen. That’s it. SAM, is there any way you can help Scott like you did with Ellen?”  
“I was able to assist Ellen through her implant. Scott doesn’t have one. I have no way to connect to him.”  
“If you were able to connect to him, could you help him? Could you restore him?”  
“Sixty two percent probability I could.”  
“That’s better than the zero percent we have now.”  
“There are some problems with your plan.”  
“Name them, SAM.”  
“Scott doesn’t have an implant.”  
“We get him one.”  
“All the implants are located in your office.”  
“We get someone to deliver one to Omega.”  
“Then the operation to place it. With Scott’s fever so high, no doctor will operate on him.”  
“I have a few favours I can call in.”  
“Scott might not survive the operation.”  
“He will survive it. He’s my son. Ryders are made tough. Any other issues, SAM?”  
“Time.”  
“What do you mean time?”  
“Scott only has maybe another day before the drugs complete the process. To get to Omega would take-“  
“Two weeks. Damn.”  
“I’m sorry, Alec.”

Alec met his eyes as he whimpered in pain.  
“We’ll find a way.”  
Alec opened his omni-tool and placed a call.  
“Harper, I need you on Omega ASAP. I need you to bring me-“  
Pet screamed as fire raced through his veins.  
“Scott!”  
He opened his eyes as he felt an icy touch on his forehead.  
“Scott, you’re going to survive this. I’m going to save you. Trust me, son.”  
Darkness was reaching out to claim him.  
Save me, dad.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec finds the way to save Scott.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was very hard to write. It might have a little bit to do with the fact I started it on August 19. The day bioware announced... Well, you know. It took me three days to write the first paragraph. But I managed it. Yay me. Enjoy.

“Everything is in place. Now we just need to find a way to make sure Scott stays Scott until then.”  
“Alec, technically he-“  
“Shut it, SAM.” Alec turned to see him watching him.  
“Scott, you’re awake”, he said, kneeling beside him.   
“Don’t worry, son. We have a plan to save you.” Alec placed a hand on his shoulder. “You just need to hold on a little longer. SAM, what can you tell me?”  
Pet screamed as the fire returned.  
“I’m right here, Scott. Just hold on. SAM?”  
“Scott’s fever dropped significantly a moment ago.”  
“What?” Alec removed his hand from his shoulder. “What caused that?”

“Dad?” His voice was a rasped whisper.  
“Scott?”  
“Dad, please help. It hurts so much. Stop it, please. It’s agony. Alec, why are you doing this to me? What did I do to you? Why did you abduct me? Why did you take me from Mistress? Want Mistress. Please, I want her”, he cried. “Where is she? Why isn’t she here? She needs me. I need her. Please, Pet needs her. Please. Pet needs Mistress” He whimpered as tears filled his eyes. Everything hurt. Where was Mistress? She would stop the pain. Pain that was the fault of this Alec person. He growled as Alec returned his hand to his shoulder.  
“Scott, what is it? What-“  
Damn the man’s quick reflexes. If Alec had been a little slower, he would have had him.

“SAM, what happened?”  
“Scott came very close to biting you. It was only with my assistance that he missed.”  
“Not that. He talked. He knew me. What caused that?”  
“When the drugs attack his nervous system it brings Scott back temporarily. It’s a cruel side effect before the drug strips him of his humanity forever. I’m sorry, Alec. It won’t be long now.”  
“No. We can’t give up. Ellen and Sara would never forgive me. There has to be a way.”

“I might have found one.”  
“Tell me, SAM.”  
“I finished analyzing the collar you removed from Scott. My findings show the collar used his biotic amps to electrify his nervous system. It was used to help the drugs break him.”  
“Sounds horrific but what does that have to do with right now?”  
“The collar mirrors what the drugs are doing now.”  
“Are you suggesting what I think you’re suggesting?”  
“I believe it will keep the drugs from completing the process until I can help via the implant.”  
“How sure are you?”  
“Ninety nine point two percent certainty this will work.”  
“Damn. Fine, let’s do it.”  
Pet growled as Alec's stare met his.  
“I’m sorry, Scott.”

“There is one final thing, Alec.”  
“Of course there is. What is it, SAM?”  
“Once the collar is activated, I can’t turn it off until it is removed again. To be most effective the collar should be placed and activated when Scott is aware.”  
“I have to put this thing on him when he knows who I am?”  
“I’m sorry, Alec.”  
“Yeah, so am I”, Alec sighed.  
He growled at Alec. He didn’t know what that was in Alec’s hands but he didn’t like it. It bought back memories of extreme pain.  
“If it helps make this easier, Alec, I won’t interfere if he tries to bite you again.”  
“The kid has puked on me, SAM, and I still loved him. I don’t think a bite will be any different.”  
“Of course. Just be ready.”  
“I am.”  
Pet screamed as the fire raced through his whole body. 

Scott glanced up at his dad. He had something in his hands.  
“Dad, please. Help me.”  
“I am, Scott”, Alec said, kneeling beside him.  
“What are you? No!” He managed to crawl away but was stopped from going further by the chain around his ankle. “Get that away from me. Please don’t do this to me”, he pleaded, tears in his eyes. His dad kneeled beside him again, using his knee to pin him down. “Please, dad. I’m sorry I made mom sick. Dad, don’t do this. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. No”, he sobbed as the collar was closed around his neck.  
“No, Scott. I’m sorry. SAM?”  
“Activating.”  
“Dad, please.”  
Scott screamed out in agony. Electricity and fire were racing through his whole body. They consumed him, leaving nothing but agony in their wake. Agony and a question of why. Why would dad do this to him? Did he hate him this much?  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++   
Scott lay on the floor, unable to move. Time had ceased to exist. All he knew was agony. Agony and the short breaks in between the agony. He heard the door open but didn’t bother to look to see who it was. He already knew who it was. It was the same person who had kept coming and going during the endless agony.  
“Scott?”  
He was surprised by the tears forming in his eyes. He hadn’t figured he had any left to shed.  
“Scott?”  
Did Alec expect him to answer? He had no voice left. His throat was raw from screaming.  
“Come on, son. Look at me.”

If Alec thought he was his son after this, he was crazy. He was careful not to think that for too long though. If he thought certain things too long it made the agony come back. Like it did whenever he thought of the word Mistr- The electrical fire engulfed him. After it was gone he met Alecs’ eyes, tears pouring down his face.  
“I’m so sorry we had to do this to you, Scott. SAM?”  
“You can remove the collar now, Alec.”

Scott wept in relief as the collar was removed. Finally his nightmare of agony was over.  
“Hey, Scott. It’s okay, son.” Alec placed a hand on his chest. “I’m proud of you. You’ve been so strong throughout this whole ordeal. Just one more hurdle, then we can go home.”  
Home? He didn’t have one anymore. Talah had destroyed his home. She had killed his girls. He whimpered as pain returned to his head.

“Scott? What is it? SAM?”  
“An unexpected complication. I suggest rendering Scott unconscious until the doctor is ready for him.”  
“But you said the collar would help. What happened? What is causing-“  
“The sooner, the better, Alec. I might not be able to fix this if you don’t.”  
“Okay.” Alec met his eyes. “Scott, you’re going to sleep now. When you wake up you will be you again. Hopefully. SAM, what if this doesn’t work? What if this new complication-“  
“Alec, I will take care of Scott. I will do everything I can to fix him. But if you don’t put him to sleep now, I might not be able to.”  
Take care of him? Was he dying? Would he soon be dead like his girls? He whimpered as the pain returned once more. At the same time Alec injected him with something.  
“I’ll see you when you wake up son.”  
No, wait. What new complication was SAM talking about? How would he fix-  
Darkness consumed him.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> End of the flashbacks. Sara returns to the story.

“After that, I woke up on Earth with no memory of what had happened. I spent two weeks in that bed before I returned home.”  
Sara sat on the bed in stunned silence. She had known it was going to be bad but this was worse than she imagined. Talah had drugged and tortured her brother. She had almost succeeded in dehumanizing him, turning him into an animal, making him her pet. And the drugs she used to do it would have killed him. Scott would be dead if dad hadn’t found him that day.

And dad? Sure he had saved Scott from that fate. Saved him in the nick of time it seemed. But to do that he had to resort to torture. He had to torture Scott for two weeks until Cora landed on Omega. Then instead of helping Scott through what had happened to him, dad had made SAM block those memories and lied to him. Had made Scott lie to her.

Scott had to hide his grief and pretend everything was fine. He had to pretend he had never loved and lost someone on Omega. Dad had made Scott treat the memory of his girls like a shameful secret. Made Scott act like they never existed in the first place.  
She wished her dad was still alive. Then she could punch him for what he had done. The torture she could understand. He did it to save Scott. But the lying she would never understand. Especially why he made Scott hide his girls from her.

Now was not the time to be angry at dad though. She glanced at her brother. Scott sat on the bed beside her, staring at his hands in his lap. Silent tears coursed down his cheeks and splashed on his hands. She closed the gap between them and placed a hand on his arm.  
“Hey, baby brother”, she said softly. “How are you doing?”  
“I’m fine.”  
“The tears say different.”  
He scrubbed his hands over his face before returning them to his lap.  
“What tears? I’m fine”, he insisted.  
“Scott, it’s okay if you’re not. You just found out something very traumatic. Maybe you should take some time off. And I think you need to talk to Lexi. She will help you through this.”

“I didn’t just find out, Sara. I’ve known for about a month now. And I did take time off after SAM unblocked my memories completely.”  
“You did?”  
“Yes. I locked myself in my room for a week and drank through a good portion of dads liquor supply.”  
“That’s not... How did your crew take that?”  
“I don’t know. After the second day they either stopped knocking or I stopped hearing them. And after I came out, no one mentioned it. Not even Lexi, surprisingly.”

“Speaking of Lexi.”  
“No, Sara.”  
“Talking to her might help.”  
“Talking to you already did. The memories don’t scare me as bad. It’s in the past and I survived it.”  
“Glad I could help but Lexi should still know. If she had she wouldn’t have strapped you to the bed.”  
“She still might have. She was pissed at me. I’m not ready to tell Lexi.”  
“Maybe I should then.”  
“No, you promised.”  
“Scott, your doctor should know.”  
He gripped her hands in his, turning to face her.  
“Sara, please.”  
“That puppy dog look won’t help you, Scott. I’m immune to it.”  
“Big sister, please”, he begged. “You promised.”

She sighed. She had promised not to tell Lexi. But that was before she knew the whole truth. She should tell Lexi. It was what was best for Scott. He would understand that eventually.  
“Please”, he pleaded.  
She looked into her brothers eyes. Is that what dad had thought? Did he think blocking those memories and making Scott lie to her was best for Scott? Is that how he justified it? If she went against Scott’s wishes and told Lexi, was she any better than him?”

“Fine, Scott. I won’t tell Lexi.”  
“You won’t”, he said hopefully.  
“As long as you do.”  
“Sara, I can’t”  
“I’m not saying today. Just eventually she needs to know. Okay, Scott?”  
“Okay, I’ll tell her. Just not right away.”  
“That works for me.”

“Now are you going to keep your promise, Sara?”  
“What promise?”  
“You promised, if I told you, to help convince Lexi to let me rest on the Tempest. If that didn’t work, you would help me escape.”  
“I guess I did. I will do that on one condition.”  
“You already promised but okay. Name it.”  
“You listen to her and stay in bed. You need the rest.”  
“One hundred thousand people need a home. I think they take priority.”  
“And if you get injured or die because you’re not at your best, they won’t get one. They’ve waited this long. They can wait another week. Okay, little brother?”

“Fine”, he huffed, pulling his hands away. “You just want me on bed rest because you are.”  
“Well, if I have to suffer, my baby brother should too.”  
He rolled his eyes at her remark.  
“It’s one minute, Sara”, he sighed. “It doesn’t count.”  
“It does if you want me to call Lexi.”  
“What are you waiting for, big sister? We’re not getting any younger.”  
She smiled as she opened her omni-tool to place the call.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scott gets his happy ending. Oh wait, this isn't a fairytale.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anxiety attack ahead.

Scott smiled as he leaned back against his pillows.  
“Okay, Scott. No need to look smug”, Lexi declared.  
“Smug? I’m just smiling. What do I have to feel smug about?”  
“How about the fact that, against my better judgement I moved your bed rest to the Tempest. How soon before Kallo heads to Meridan?”  
“Don’t know. Probably won’t be until we finish on Eos. Bradley has requested some assistance.”  
“Assistance with what?”  
“No idea. Cora is taking the lead. I’m on bed rest for the foreseeable future.”  
“You’re actually going to listen to your doctor”, she said incredulously.  
“Seems the smart thing to do, when I have the best doctor in the cluster looking after me.”  
“Thanks for the compliment, but you are staying in this bed for a week.”  
“Whatever you say, doctor.”

“See you tomorrow, Scott.” She walked across the room, towards the door.  
“Hey, wait”, he called as she reached the door.  
She turned around to face him.  
“What now, Scott”, Lexi said vexingly.  
“No goodnight”, he asked.  
“Goodnight, sweet dreams. Do not leave that bed”, she ordered.  
“I think you need to work on your bedside manner.”  
“Goodnight, Scott. SAM, lights.”

He lay there in the dark. The dark that before a month ago bugged him but he was still able to fall asleep. But now? He looked towards the very faint blue glow that was SAM. Maybe he could ask SAM to- No, he was fine. It was just the dark. He wasn’t trapped. He was in his bed with plenty of room to move. He was alone and in his bed. That woman couldn’t hurt him anymore. She was dead. Talah was six hundred years dead. He would never see her again.

He shot up in bed. What was that? It sounded like... Cora. It was just Cora and Peebee. Possibly Gil as well. He ran trembling hands across his face. It was just his crew, getting ready for bed. None of them would hurt him. He was fine. Totally fine. It was just the dark.

When had it gotten so hot in here? He shoved the blankets off and sat on the side of the bed. He would be fine. He clasped his trembling hands together. Totally fine. He just needed to breathe. Just breathe and... Something was wrong. No matter how much he breathed in, his lungs wouldn’t fill completely. It felt like something heavy was blocking the bottom portion of his lungs. No air could get past it. He wasn’t getting enough air. Maybe if he breathed faster he could clear the blockage.

“Scott, please slow your breath.”  
“SAM?” He looked towards the desk. SAM’s interface glowed brighter. The room was now bathed in a light blue light.  
“Scott, you’re okay. Just breathe normally.”  
“Can’t. I’m not... getting enough... air.”  
“You’re hyperventilating.”  
“Need air.”  
“I’m calling Dr. T’Perro.”  
“No. Don’t.”  
“You require assistance.”  
“No. I’m fine. No Lexi.”

“Scott, do you trust me?”  
“Yes. No Lexi.”  
“Then do what I tell you.”  
“’Kay.”  
“I want you to breathe in for four seconds, hold it for seven seconds, and then breathe out for eight seconds.”  
“Can’t. Pass out. Not enough air.”  
“Trust me.”  
“Do. Can’t.”  
“Do it or I call the doctor.”

Scott was surprised he hadn’t passed out doing what SAM said. It hadn’t done anything though. His lungs were still blocked. He still wasn’t getting enough oxygen.  
“Good”, SAM said. “Keep doing that.”  
“But-“  
“Keep going.”  
“SAM.”  
“Trust me. It will help.”

He slowly breathed out.  
“Feel better, Scott?”  
“Yeah, thanks. I can breathe again. Still a little shaky though.”  
“That will fade in time.”  
“What caused that? And what was that?”  
“You had an anxiety attack. As to the why, what were you doing before it happened?”  
“Nothing. I was just laying in the dark, waiting to fall asleep.”  
“The dark?”  
“Yes, SAM. The dark. The same dark I have easily fallen asleep in all my life.”  
“For the last month you have left the light on by the couch. I’m sorry, Scott. When Dr. T’Perro told me to turn off the lights, I turned them all off.”  
“That was fine, SAM. I don’t need that light. The dark doesn’t scare me.”  
“Scott.”  
“No, SAM. I’m twenty three. I don’t need a night light to sleep. I’m not afraid of the dark.” He swiped at the tears running down his cheeks. “I’m not”, he whimpered.  
“It’s not the dark you’re afraid of.”  
“I’m not afraid of the dark”, he sulked.  
“It’s what can happen in the dark that you’re afraid of.”  
“Thanks, SAM. I feel so much better.”  
“You’re welcome.”  
“Someone needs to work on detecting sarcasm better.”  
“Sara said I was improving.”  
“Still got a long way to go.” 

Scott sighed and ran his hands through his hair, before looking at SAM. “I’m sorry, SAM.”  
“For what?”  
“For yelling at you when I found out the truth. For blaming you for what dad did. Add whatever else you feel I need to apologize for. I’m sorry for everything.”  
“No apology is necessary, Scott. You had just found out something very traumatic. I apologize for my part in it. For blocking your memories from you.”  
“You don’t need to apologize either, SAM. You were just following orders. Thanks, dad.”  
“I’m still sorry.”  
“Yeah, so am I”, he sighed. “Guess I should try to get some sleep. Lexi will probably check your logs in the morning to see how much sleep I got.”  
“I assume so.”

He lay back down on his side, pulling his the blanket to his chin.  
“Night, SAM.”  
“Good night, Scott.”  
He closed his eyes and snuggled into his pillow.  
“We can hope.” He opened his eyes to see the room still bathed in the light blue light from SAM. He raised his head from his pillow. “SAM, what are you doing? Why aren’t you in sleep mode?”  
“It occurred to me, during our talk, that I had left some work unfinished. I’m sorry if the light disturbs you. I should be done in a couple hours.”  
“It’s fine. It doesn’t bug me.”  
“I’m glad.”  
Scott laid his head back down on the pillow and closed his eyes.  
“SAM?”  
“Yes, Scott?”  
“Thank you.”  
“I don’t know what you are thanking me for.”  
“I’m sure. Now if you could only help keep the nightmares away.”

“I have a theory we could test.”  
“What is it?”  
“Maybe if you fall asleep thinking of a good memory, it will keep the nightmares away.”  
Scott opened his eyes and sat up in bed.  
“Sounds good in theory but how do I stop the bad memories from invading the good?”  
“I could show you the memory like I have been doing with Alec's memories. You will not be able to stop or alter it in anyway.”  
“Well if it doesn’t work, it’s not like it will alter anything. Right?”  
“Nothing will be changed in your memories. I promise never to alter or block your memories again.”  
“Could you?”  
“I will never do it again.”  
“Sounds like a yes.” He snuggled back down in bed. “Okay, SAM. Let’s try it. Now what is a good memory of mine?”

“If I may choose?”  
“Why, SAM? Don’t trust my judgement?”  
“You seem to think all your memories of those nine months are bad.”  
“Seven months. I was in a coma for two of those months. And all of those memories are bad.”  
“Not all of them. If I may?”  
“Sure, go ahead. I think you are wrong though.”  
“Close your eyes.”  
Scott closed his eyes as the memory began. Before it was over, SAM dimmed to sleep mode. Scott would not require the light the rest of the night.  
“Sweet dreams, Pathfinder.”  
***************************************  
Scott pushed off of Alec as the door opened. He was determined to walk the rest of the way without help. If Alec helped him, he would guide him to the living room, when all Scott wanted to do was go to his bedroom. Go to his bedroom, lock the door, and rest for a couple days to regain his strength. Because when his strength returned, he was leaving. This wasn’t home anymore. He doubted he would feel at home anywhere ever again.

“Scott, let me help you.”  
“No, Alec”, he snapped. “I can walk by myself.” He stumbled and had to catch himself on a kitchen chair.  
“I can see that.”  
“Shut up, Alec” he growled. “I’m going to my room.”  
“You could use the rest”, Alec said.  
Scott turned back around to face him.  
“And when I’m done resting, I’m leaving.”  
“Leaving? Why? This is your home.”  
“Your home, not mine.”  
“So you’re just going to- Sara.”  
“Sara”, Scott questioned. “What about-“ He stopped as arms encircled him from behind.  
“Scott, you’re back”, Sara exclaimed.  
“Sara”, he murmured.  
“I missed you so much, baby brother.”  
“Sara.”  
“Where did you go?”  
“Sara.”  
“Know any other words there, Scott?”  
He turned in her grip and hugged her close.  
“It’s my favourite word, Sara.”  
“Then never leave me again, Scott.”  
“Never again, Sara.”  
Why would he want to?  
He was home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Curtain call time!
> 
> Thank you! Thank you to everyone who read this. I hoped you enjoyed. Huge thank you to Bioware for creating these characters that I love to break (sorry, not sorry). Thank you to my cousin for being my beta. Scott would be lost without Sara and I would be lost without my sister. Thank you for being my inspiration and my cheerleader. 
> 
> Until next story ao3,  
> Thank you and good bye.


End file.
